re-awakened muslimah

I have not traveled far and wide. I have not experienced the sights and sounds of the world. I have not met people from the great beyond… But I have lived a thousand journeys. The irony of life is never-ending. And it is in these ironies that you travel, break boundaries and realize that the same events are happening over and over again while the ebb and flow of time carry you far from where you once stood. Time is like the seas, the waters. It’s as ancient, deep and vast. As monstrous and gigantic; forming ferocious, gaping holes on land as it erodes sand mercilessly. ************************************ I was twelve, or rather 10 days from turning twelve (July 23rd, 1994), when I went up north with mom. Up north is a slight exaggeration as we went till Murree and Abbot Abad only. But really, we lived our lives. By “we” I imply my elder sister Angel, mom and myself. Till then we were carrying on monotonous, boring, rigid lives partly dictated by th...

Lately, I have been praying and begging Allah swt to distance me from people who create fitna in my life. I also ask Allah swt to grant these people in discussion with hidaya. A mere visit by such people lead me into back-biting, lying and mis behaving. Back-biting happens when they leave and I discuss what a pain they have been... Lying takes place when I twist facts to avoid answering queries made by these irritatingly curious people. And in the end, they cross their limits in questioning me and lead me into saying something completely unlike myself; something that comes to me on impulse; something that I could have said a bit tactfully! Oh how I regret my entire conduct! And then, there are times when I am sure that these people were probably not as wrong as I was in the way I acted! The realization is so painful that Shaytaan coaxed me into carrying out acts that cause Allah's displeasure. How could I so easily be led into doing something so wrong???!!! Ya Allah! It gets so dif...

Dedicated to my daughters in islam... I have five daughters alhamdolillah. I have not borne all five of them, but I hold them dear in my heart like how I would a daughter who I had carried within myself for nine whole months! Alhamdolillah for the teachings of our holy Prophet(S) that taught us to learn and cherish our daughters! They brighten our lives and soften our hearts! Their smiles become our delight and their tears become our sorrows. The five daughters whom I love like my own include my four nieces and my own little bundle of joy, Mina! For me they are images of Maryam(AS), Fatima(R), Khudaija(R), Aisha Siddiqa(R) and Zainab(R)... When I make duaa for them I dont ask less than the world and not more than the Heaven! For me their ideal spouse would be an image of Ali(R), Abu Bakr Siddique(R), Umer(R) and Usman(R). I fear for their innocence, yet I enjoy their display of cleverness and wisdom. I pity them in their pain, yet I take pride in their patience and bravery. I want to ...

Temperatures are rising. Pakistan is generally hot, especially at this time of the year. With rising temperatures come electricity issues. Today, also, we did not have electricity for five hours altogether. Yahya got vaccinated, we came home, and poof the electricity went out. Mina has a bad throat, we saw the doctor, came home and poof... the electricity went out! Little Friend had a long day in Lahore yesterday, he wanted a nice nap after lunch today, just as he hit the sack and I ushered the kids to their room where I could keep them busy, poof... the electricity went out! A series of power outages followed by bouts of frustration at our government, the heat and the inability to watch t.v or charge our mobile phones in time! What we kept missing out on were the many facilities we still enjoyed as compared to a great percentage of Pakistanis who suffered a great deal more in this heat coupled with the power outages. Alhamdolillah we have a u.p.s and a generator system. Other than tha...

My son, who just turned six mashaAllah, has the roundest most beautiful eyes in the world mashaAllah:) The size and shape of his eyes lands them an innocent and dreamy look! Long lashes shade his wide eyes. When sleepy, his eyes speak for him. When sad, they are quick to show his emotions. When learning something new, enchantment and enlightenment sparkle in his eyes. When happy, his eyes shine with joy and contentment. When afraid of the unknown, they reflect the horror in his heart. When confused, surprise and confusion widen his eyes! It is in these wide-eyed moments that I find much amusement and happiness. The queries are sometimes intelligent and a lot of times very simple and amusing. He bats his eyes in wonder when I answer a query. His mind races to form images with my words. A lot of times he already has another question lined even before I have finished answering the previous one:) Very often, sleep finds its way in those large eyes just as I launch into any details that wou...

"Allah certainly dislikes three things for you: vain talk (and carrying tales), wasting of wealth, and (unnecessary) excessive questioning."(Bukhari) Alhamdolillah I have rediscovered deen and try implementing it in all areas of life. I am quite sincere in carrying the hijab and consider the veil very seriously as well! But does that really mean that I have to meet the expectations of the people around me and worry about following the latest fashions be it wearing fitted garments or low neck-lines and abandon those of our deen?!!! My hubby practically spent his entire boyhood in the mosque alhamdolillah. He attended different "ijtimaa" or congregations meant for the dhikr of Allah all his life alhamdolillah. He recited istighfaar each time he laid eyes on a female out of fear that Shaytaan might lead him to sinning! Yet, when he finally grew a beard after hajj, he felt he wasted so many years doing nothing! Now he had finally done something to please Allah swt! Yet ...

There is a very famous story of Hazrat Suleman (A) and the Ants. Prophet Sulemaan (A) is known to have been able to speak to animals and the jinn. In this particular story, Prophet Sulemaan (A) is said to have been riding with his men in the desert when an army of ants sees them. The chief of the ants warns the others to get away from the way of the riders as they would mercilessly crush them otherwise! The prophet smiled gently and ordered his men to swerve away from the path of the tiny ants and eased away the worries of the ants. Just as much as this story is about the miracles of the great Prophet of Allah swt and the powers that Allah swt had gifted his prophets with, this story is also a reminder of the gentleness and affection that the great prophets felt for the Creation of Allah swt. We have numerous examples of tenderness and love in the life and teachings of our Last Prophet(S). Kindness towards plants, animals and humans alike; towards children, the elderly and the poor; t...