re-awakened muslimah

BISMILLAH IR RAHMAN IR RAHEEM Life most certainly goes by in a flash. There are memories to cherish, people to miss, moments to revisit and lessons that last for life. The memories, people, moments and lessons make life worth living… a complete package. Nevertheless we find it painful to have lost each one of these. We feel nostalgic and smile wistfully when we remember each of these. We sometimes wish they could have lasted. This realization came to me today and struck me quite hard when I was actually clearing up the photos and videos from my iPhone.  I attached my phone to the laptop and clicked on transfer photos. I chose to remove the photos from my phone’s memory as they were transferred to the laptop. Like a flashback of memories my photos started getting transferred onto the laptop. In a random sequence I began viewing the events from last year till today. My sisters first day in Pakistan last Ramadan to my father’s surgery… the faces filled with fear to the faces sh...

Homecoming… such a joyful time… I went to collect my husband from the airport in the day… there were still few minutes to his landing time… in addition to landing time there is also luggage collection time... altogether I got a good half hour to watch the people arriving from various destinations… most of them coming home… there was relief and happiness and pride and nostalgia in their demeanor… the air was cool, the weather hot and humid… they were all expecting it to be that way… because this was home they had come to and you always know what to expect at home… there are those few changes that catch your eye… new blinds on the lounge windows, new covers on your old but familiar and comfy bed, a new plant in the driveway, new crockery for breakfast, etc…. these travelers who were returning also scanned their surroundings and made mental notes of the new sign at the airport terminal, the cars of news channels waiting for somebody’s arrival, the barriers put up at the cuts in the lan...

Spiritual journey is a term often used for a voyage one embarks upon for religious reasons. As for my personal perception both these terms, spiritual and journey don’t have any context with their literal meanings. Journey is the ability to be easily transferable to a place unimaginable. It is that inconceivable condition of being at two places at the same time.  Spiritual, then, to me is something very close to one’s heart. To me it is that unreachable depth of the heart that is really your soul. Something you carry around unburdened.  It possesses us rather than us possessing it. The spirit has a way of its own and does more for us than our identity. It is much unique and significant than our whole being as it can’t be assessed. Which is why spiritual is a feeling of having the power to let go and become weightless in mind and being. Spiritual journey is, I believe, a state; a transformation from human to supernatural; an emotion. It doesn’t confirm to any rules ...

BISMILLAH IR RAHMAN IR RAHEEM As sincere as my intentions are for everything I do, there sometimes exists a slight degree of pride or selfishness or worldliness inside the deep recesses of my conscience. Just as much as I offer my prayers for my Rabb and as much as I do good for the pleasure of my Rabb, shaytaan manages to adulterate the recipe to the good act by adding some impurity to it.  Anyhow, the point I'm looking to make here is not about whether or not my intentions are always pure. Rather its a serious error in duaa that I recently started making.  Once the realization dawned on me that my actions and intentions were sometimes contradicting one another, I began making duaa to Allah SWT, asking Him to dissolve the difference between my ZAHIR (seen) and BAATIN(unseen/concealed). I actually started begging Him SWT that I earnestly wanted my ZAHIR to be the same as my BAATIN!!  It is all Allah's doing that He SWT first opened my eyes to the fact that no matt...

BISMILLAH IR RAHMAN IR RAHEEM Life takes us by the hand and steers us in so many different directions. Many a times we plan, and an unexpected surprise arrives, the plan is no more. Once we welcome the surprise and completely register it in our senses, life takes a sharp turn and lands us in the middle of another unexpected situation. We fumble, rub our eyes and flail our arms searching for a support to protect us from falling face down. The only support that really sees us through is the level of our eimaan and our belief in Allah swt and His plans.  I found myself getting in and out of strange turns and dangerous bumps a couple of months ago. I found myself feeling surprised, and sometimes amused, every time! Just as much as the reality of that particular situation would hit me hard, so would the fact that "Indeed He is the best of planners". Many months have gone by, yet I'm still wondering what messages or rather what hikmah/wisdom it is that those incidents were ...