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making journal entries that might help me rediscover deen; having fun and gaining inspiration while chronicling the world of hijabis!

Monday, May 3, 2010

This is my Hijab

I recently messaged a link to my friends on my network, that was about the seven essentials of a muslim woman's attire. A friend sent me a horrified reply asking me whether I was applying any of the seven rules or not! As usual, I had so much to say that I decided to write about it here:)

I started carrying the hijab 6 years back, not that I had reverted to islam then but that my reawakening process had been suddenly triggered. I owe it to my visit to Dubai. My hair was simply gorgeous at that time. My firstborn was just a year old and I was back in shape. My skin was glowing and I was feeling really good about myself. And then Dubai had me in real high spirits. I let my dyed-brown hair down till my waist and wore colorful kurtis that flaunted my fitness. My perfume filled the elevator and my wide toothy smile captured Arabs and "foreigners" alike!

In a similar setting we once boarded the hotel elevator to be carried downstairs and catch a cab for the distant malls and hotels of Dubai. I smiled pleasantly at everyone in the elevator and stood by my bearded husband's side. As the elevator made its way down, I began feeling the eyes, ears and nose that could make out each strand of my hair, knew what my skin smelled of and knew where exactly my curves were! Astaghfirullah!!! I was so ashamed in my heart to be standing next to my extremely pious and righteous hubby, a man who guarded his deen with his beard! He was undoubtedly a muslim for nobody once questioned him about his identity, where as I had been asked on many occasions whether I was hindu! I created confusions! If I was a muslim then why the lustrous locks swinging on my back attracting male and female attention alike! If I was a muslim then why the fancy garments, that were not revealing at all but clung to my body!

Oh god the debate that I had with my conscience was historic! The next few days were full of contemplation and research on Islam's criteria for modesty. We returned home and went about our daily mundane routines. My mind remained occupied with thoughts about whether I should do something about the hijab issue or not! And then, another defining moment took place, my husband's brother met a painless end after years of ailment! I was brought to face my fears as I witnessed this death and was reminded of my mom's departure to the next world! These realities hit me smack in the face. They shook me up... and I donned my hijab!

Ever since then it has been an uphill climb towards earning the pleasure of the Almighty Allah by abiding with the rules of modesty laid down for us in the Holy Quraan and the Sunnah. Ive been met with social challenges and highly stupid queries, but alhamdolillah I was helped by Allah swt in pursuing this path! So much so, that I began wearing the jilbaab last year alhamdolillah! I just hope I can go further ahead on this path and set an example for my muslim sisters by implementing all the rules of modesty!
I have to credit my hubby, Little Friend for his excellent influence on my personality! His steadfastness, kindness and faith have helped me mould myself and understand deen better! May Allah swt reward him for being a good muslim hence an excellent example! Ameen

May Allah swt guide us all and help us follow the beautiful guidelines laid down for us meant for a healthy and complete lifestyle! Ameen

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