re-awakened muslimah

YA ILLAHI/ NASHEED

2011-05-13T22:49:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xanw4z9Ovg

my favorite nasheed! subhanAllah!

HAJJ CHRONICLES; “LABBAIK ALLAHUMMA LABBAIK”

2011-01-30T21:56:00.000-08:00

HAJJ CHRONICLES; “LABBAIK ALLAHUMMA LABBAIK”

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHEEM

Jeddah was hot and dry when we landed… but once again immigration was very smooth alhumdulillah! The air-conditioned airport facility made things easier… all Arab authorities designated to assist and guide and clear hajjis through immigration were very cooperative, hospitable and friendly mash Allah! Their spirit touched me… many of them were of special assistance to me because they all first mistakened me for being Iraqi! But my clarification of being a Pakistani also pleased them and they quickly made their transition from Arabic to English…

It was pleasant to know that many people in Saudia have tried to acquire some basic English speaking skills in order to cater to the many different nationalities coming there for religious purposes…

Anyhow, once our luggage had been cleared we were required to wait in an enclosure reserved for our particular country while our buses arrived… having left home right after fajar salaah, I had not imagined that I would cope so well with hunger and long waits! The truth is, Allah swt made it very easy for not just us, but even the elderly! We would all like to say that we were behaving patiently but the truth remains that we did not feel a thing! We spread our “musallahs” on the cement floor and comfortably adjusted ourselves on them; leaving the benches for our fellow elderly hajjis… one after the other we offered the zuhr, ASR and finally Maghrib prayers… hospitable Saudi citizens kept a flow of fresh dates and Arabic tea coming, keeping hajjis nourished and their rewards multiplying!

We were very excited when our bus finally arrived shortly after Maghrib salaah.

My emotional outpour kept me occupied all the while I waited for the bus… and continued as we boarded the bus… everything seemed so special! Everything was special! The prospect of heading towards our place of residence meant that our time to perform umra (before hajj) was nearing! My heart weighed with love and admiration for Allah swt! His mercies and His bounties moved my very soul! I was afraid if I thought much about it, my heart would explode and I would not survive the hugeness of this ibaadah! Yet, this aspect did not worry or scare me! It just soothed me to know that meeting my end would probably be the best thing that could happen to me on this blessed land! Ya Allah!

Azizia was the area we were meant to stay… it is barely an hour’s drive from the airport, but took us three hours to reach! Alhumdulillah for that too!

We traveled through the streets of Mecca in search for our muallim’s building… we passed by familiar buildings and streets, all reminders of previous trips and spiritual journeys with our kids…

We saw people dressed in ihram walking and chanting… we saw people in everyday clothes making their way towards dine ins for a meal after tawaf… we saw Turks, Iraqis, Iranians, Indonesians, Indians, Bengalis, Uzbeks, Pakistanis, Europeans, Americans… all in search of the pleasure of the One Lord; all making an effort to earn “baksheesh”; all consumed in their own thoughts and religious fervor… we united with them as hajjis, as Muslims, as an ummah! We united with them in emotion, in purpose and in spirit! We had already become equals! We were experiencing a scene similar to that which the Day of Judgment would present! Ya Allah!

We finally reached Azizia somewhere around midnight… on reaching Azizia all fellow hajjis who had already settled down in the apartment welcomed us like family! We were so happy to see each other and spoke all at once sharing our stories and experiences so far…

The men had their apartments on the first floor of the building while women stayed on the fourth floor… we coordinated our umra timings with the men using the Saudi sims we had been provided by our hajj group… it was decided that we will offer fajar in the harem and then begin our umra… I lay down to rest for a bit… I wanted to feel energized for the first step of my hajj journey… our room became quiet as all the ladies settled in their beds to relax a little before they performed umra… I was surprised at the ease and comfort I felt in the new surroundings… I believed then that I had truly become a hajji… alhumdulillah!

HAJJ CHRONICLES; “WE LEAVE FOR HAJJ”

2011-01-13T01:06:00.000-08:00

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHEEM

Alhumdulillah my dear hubby (“little friend” for the blog) and I successfully performed the fard ibaadah of Hajj and returned safely after a 24 day journey on December 4th, 2010… numerous factors contributed in the delay for me to finally update my blog with my wonderful Hajj stories… but those delays have seemed fruitful, as I have been able to recollect all the details and re-live them in my mind… hopefully, inshAllah, this recollection will make my account more vivid and accurate!

And yes, the best part of the delay should be that my city is finally experiencing a very romantic (in the context of “romantic poetry”) winter, which makes everything all the more beautiful alhumdulillah… I have my cup of home made chai-latte to accompany me while I work on sketching my joyful pilgrimage…

My episodes of weeping continued all through the journey. The hugeness of the pilgrimage had impacted me in the few days before my departure. Shivers went up my spine in anticipation. My heart experienced disbelief at the aspect of making the journey so early in my life alhumdulillah, and my soul urged to get there quickly. Mixed emotions made my farewells extremely emotional. I had a tough time collecting myself.

I got expensive clothes done… planning to wear them for post- Hajj celebration…

I got the prettiest white jilbaab prepared for the event of my life...

I packed my late mother-in-law’s “ihram” with myself for hajj… I wanted her to be with me during the journey…

I bought a bunch of colored rubber bangles with the money my granny had given me to buy something special for myself before the pilgrimage…

I kept my kids’ pictures in my wallet… that quite completed my preps for the holiest mission of my life… we said our fajar salaah at home, and secured the locks on our lightweight luggage…

My sister called just in time to wish us well for the most wonderful journey of our lives… she sat imagining me in the chill of Canada; we said tearful yet happy good byes to each other…

I embraced every member of my house, all of Little Friend’s brothers’ wives and their children with a sincere and grateful heart…

Little Friend and I were not just man and wife now; we were “zauja” and “mehrim”…

Our kids sat between us as we traveled to the airport by airport cab… Little Friend’s sister accompanied us, her words full of blessings for our journey… my other elder siblings greeted me at the airport… their eyes brimming with love and happiness for us… the most special embraces of my life were exchanged between me and my sibs… Yahya wept… cried into Little Friend’s ihram… Little Friend tried unsuccessfully to control his tears… fighting our emotions, we bade farewell to Yahya and Mini who was safely huddled in my sister’s arms...

The beauty of this pilgrimage lay in its simplicity… our entire Selves had themselves become prayers… we wept and we prayed, we wept and we prayed… and Allah swt heard us… heard us every step of the way! On reaching the check in counters at the airport, we were pleasantly surprised to find ourselves joining a very short queue… the surprise lightened our moods, and the joy of already being heard helped us overcome our grief of parting from our children…

It was lovely meeting up with fellow hajjis… all dressed in white ihram waiting to board the airplane… the airport bustled with religious activity… al hajjis studied literature in preparation for the journey ahead… some recited tasbeehat… some performed salaah… we joined those performing salaah and prayed for a safe and successful hajj…

Allah swt made things very easy for us… very soon we were boarding the plane… the plane took off making my blood rush; sending a burst of emotions; relieving me of all fears, sorrows and grievances; delighting me at the aspect of finally becoming a hajji!

"IM LEAVING FOR HAJJ" CHRONICLE

2010-11-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

BISMILLAHIR RAHMANIRAHEEM!

I am very emotional today... unable to speak really! I cannot believe that inshAllah tomorrow I wil leave for Hajj... I remember all those times that Mom watched the Hajj transmission live on national tv... The sounds of Labbaik echoed throughtout our home... Maybe its walls still resonate these sacred words! Mom performed Hajj twice in her lifetime mashAllah! When she was very young... Very innocent... Spiritually mature!
She recognized the depth and essence of the pilgrimage and all it's rites... She found herself performing those rites in her daily life as well!
Today, when I am leaving for Hajj, I wonder what is going through my children's minds... I do not have to wonder much however, they are mashAllah vocal with their thoughts and feelings! They know they will miss me... They worry about their breakfast, lunch and dinner:)

What they remain unaware of is that one day we all have to live without our loved ones! They depart without prior warning! They don't leave meal plans behind! I just hope that when I do leave, my children know that all my life I was preparing for that one Final Departure; that they know that Mom had spent her time in preparation for this journey... Just as we think when we miss our Mom!
No matter how much we write or read or speak, we can never completely explain the emotions we feel at such a point! I want to stay quiet! Not say anything at all! Suddenly, there seem to be such few words for everything!
I am in a state of disbelief, excitement, nervousness and anxiety! What is it that I feel the most??!!! I just cannot say!
Alhumdulillah my sisters have performed Hajj! Only my brother and I remain! I hope he is next inshAllah!
I pray that my father gets to see the Harmain Shareefain once more in his lifetime inshALlah! I pray that the entire Muslim ummah gets the opputunity to perform their Hajj and Umra IA! And to beg forgiveness from the Almighty!
I still don't know what I really want to write... I have just been crying at intervals since last night!

My husband will be performing this hajj InshAllah on behalf of his late brother! I am so emotional about that! When he last wwent for hajj his ailing brotehr was bed ridden and asked my husband to make special dua'a for his hajj! The day has come... inshAllah my dear Little Friend will live that dream for his beautiful brother who showed much sabr during his fatal illness!

ya Allah please accept my hajj and of my fellow hajjis as well, Ameen!
ya Allah please make this pilgrimage smooth and easy for all of us, Ameen!
ya Allah please make this hajj mabroor and mabrook and maqbool for us, Ameen!
ya Allah please help us return safely to our homes, and children , Ameen!
ya Allah please help us retain and spread the lessons of hajj among our friends and family, Ameen!
ya Allah please help us retain the "anwaaraat" of this Blessed journey, Ameen!
ya Rabb, please make us your obedient servants and give special rewards to our parents, our ancestors and all the other muslims who ever lived in this world, from our hajj, Ameen, ya Rabbulaalimeen!

HAJJ CHRONICLES II

2010-11-08T23:17:00.000-08:00

The next entry in my Hajj journal is somewhat as follows:

BISMIHI

HAJJ CLASS II 26.10.10

MOLVI ABDUR RAUF

SAKHARVI

*follow the books provided:

It is very important to read the literature provided. Do not consult any other books which are commonly available yet not always authentic.

*apply Sunnah (teachings of the holy Prophet Pbuh):

Make sure to observe Sunnah as much as possible. Even the holy Quran instructs us to follow the ways and teachings of the Holy Prophet Pbuh.

*apply “mushaahida” (common sense):

While facing confusion during performing any rites we can look around to observe what other pilgrims are doing and do the same. Yet, we should not follow them blindly, rather we should apply common sense to figure out whether those acts seem correct or not, and whether they are like those that have been explained to us during our Hajj classes.

*listen carefully:

Listen attentively and make mental/written notes of all that is being taught…

1- rites of the ihram:

-cleanse yourself physically and spiritually;

-wear the ihram, make the intention and recite the talbiyah (Labbaik);

-correct all past mistakes to gain spiritual contentment (pay off any loans, cover up on missed salaah and siyaam, ask forgiveness from the Creator and the Creation);

-note down all your financial matters and hand them over to heir;

-before leaving for the journey, offer two rakaahs nafl for “teht-al-safar”;

-whenever we recite the talbiyah we should try doing it thrice, followed by duaas asking Allah swt for Jannah and forgiveness from hell fire;

-DO NOT SKIP SALAAH AT ANY POINT IN THE JOURNEY; we are making the pilgrimage because it is fard ibaadah at least once in a lifetime, while salaah is fard five times a day! NO REASON TO SKIP SALAAH AT ALL!!!

-Three kinds of Hajj:

*Ifraad: if we make the intention of performing this type of hajj, then we are not supposed to perform umra on arrival, neither do we have to sacrifice an animal for hajj nor do we remove the ihram till hajj is concluded.

*tumattu’a: while performing this type of hajj we remove the ihram after performing umra upon arrival, and make sacrifice after to conclude hajj rites.

*qiraan: we do perform umra upon arrival but do not remove ihram till we perform sacrifice as last hajj rite.

-it is best to perform ghusl before ihram.

-apply whatever little fragrance you do after ghusl.

-very simple limitations for women, subhanAllah!

No particular garment of ihram for women;

Avoid intentional hair breakage;

Should not let anything touch our face for too long.

-Always make sure to perform wudu properly.

-READ AND REMEMBER THE “MAKROOH”, “MAMNOON”, AND “JAAIZ”. (The not appreciated acts, the impermissible acts and the permitted acts).

-Best among all actions during hajj is to constantly recite the talbiyah.

-treat Jeddah as the gateway to the Haram Shareef.

-Once we are past the “book monument” (the point from where Muslims and non-Muslims separate ways!), we will be rewarded abundantly for the smallest act, gesture or intention of kindness! SubhanAllah!

- make much duaas.

- avoid using fragrant soaps and towels.

- There is no preferred time for performing umra;

And there is not any preferred entrance to the Haram Shareef.

-recite the dua’a meant for entering the Great Mosque as well as the one meant for itikaaf.

- No talbiyah after we begin making the tawaf.

- In fact, we should discontinue talbiyah till we conclude our umra, inshAllah!

- do recite the Kalma-i-Shahadah once the intention for tawaf has been made, it is a means to gain huge rewards from Allah swt!

- When passing by the Rukn-i-Yemeni, recite masnoon duaas (duaas found in the Sunnah), and other duaas, because it is at this point that angels say amen to the dua’a we make!

- move on for say’ee after completing the tawaf and offering two rakaahs of salaah near the Maqaam-i-Ibrahim.

-recite two nafl salaah and offer gratitude to Allah swt after umra is completed inshAllah!

-multazim is the lap of Allah swt! SubhanAllah!

*-------------------------------------------*-------------------------------------------------*

HAJJ CHRONICLES - I

2010-11-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

BISMILLAH IR RAHMANIRRAHEEM....

26-AND REMEMBER THEWHEN WE PREPARED FOR ABRAHAM THE PLACE OF THE HOLY HOUSE, SAYING: ASCRIBE THOU NOTHING AS PARTNER UNTO ME, AND PURIFY MY HOUSE FOR THOSE WHO MAKE THE ROUND(THEREOF) AND THOSE WHO STAND AND THOSE WHO BOW AND MAKE PROSTRATION.

27-AND PROCLAIM UNTO MANKIND THE PILGRIMAGE. THEY WILL COME UNTO THEE ON FOOT AND ON EVERY LEAN CAMEL; THEY WILL COME FROM EVERY DEEP RAVINE:

It seems like yesterday when we had received letters regarding our hajj program. It was in ramadaan that we were informed of our class schedule. And now alhumdulillah we are through with all the sessions and pre-hajj dinners, all set to fly a week from now inshAllah!

I have probably maintained a scrapbook for all important events in life. In fact, once on Mother’s Day I had compiled a picture album for my mom showing all the important people in her life (mainly her mother, siblings and children)… it is all thanks to Allah swt that He showed me this day when I started my Hajj scrapbook!

It starts off with the minutes of my first Hajj class, which look somewhat like this:

BISMIHI

HAJJ CLASS I MOLVI ABDUS SAMAD GROUP 3110

*Aadaab of deen (mannerisms of deen);

*Aadaab of salaah (mannerisms of performing salaah);

*Purpose of Hajj;

*Purpose of a Hajji.

-Pilgrimage to Mecca is like the journey of a lover; he faces obstacles and problems.

-The Hajji is like a lover.

-The hajji is in search of his love; he is desperate in his search.

-He has disheveled hair and does not care about his clothes.

-Space for comfort ordained by Allah swt during Hajj:

* In spite of all difficulties and discomforts, hajj allows a lot of ease in salaah and other ibaadah.

* Problems encountered and funds spent in hajj are equivalent to those of jihad in terms of rewards earned from Allah swt.

-Mercy of Allah swt for choosing us!

-Degrees of Eimaan and the “feeling” of eimaan.

-The noor of eimaan.

-The essence of eimaan:

Worshipping the Unseesn;

Believing and implementing the 5 pillars of Islam.

-The essence of ihsaan:

Worship the Unseen believing that you see Him while He watches you!

-The signs of the coming of Yaum ul Qiyaamah.

- Please your parents to earn the pleasure of Allah swt.

- Eimaan is within you;

Islam is about us;

Ihsaan lasts forever in our lifetime.

- Definition of Islam in one word:

Fairness, Justice (Insaaf)

Lower your gaze and make sabr to make your Hajj successful inshAllah!

*--------------------------------------------------*-----------------------------------------------------*

WHEN A MOTHER GOES FOR HAJJ...

2010-10-06T00:28:00.000-07:00

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHEEM...

I often look at my children when they are fast asleep alhumdulillah! And get mesmerized by their beautiful , innocent faces... Their eyes tight shut in anticipation of dreams taking them to journeys of fairylands and video game adventures... Their breath smooth and consistent... Their bodies curled into the shape of little fetuses!
That is when I wonder how difficult it is for a mother to detach her child from her physical self... The connection between a mother and child is never severed... Our hearts beat in unison... We can see the smile in our children's eyes... Feel the sadness in their voice... Catch their contagious excitement!
And then one day the Mother goes for Hajj... Allah u Akbar! She prepares for a journey that in turn prepares her for the Final Journey... She works on abandoning the world, shunning all that is evil and covering up for past mistakes... She pleads Allah to be in Mecca but feels her heart being torn into pieces when she thinks of leaving her off spring behind! Her off spring who will always rely on her for Dua'a and for love, no matter what age they reach... They will always need her guidance and her strength no matter how wise and strong they become themselves with time!

And then the mother reads this verse in the Noble Quraan:

"And the heart of the mother of Moses became void, and she would have betrayed him if we had not fortified her heart, that she might be of the believers."
verse #10, Surah Al-Qisas, Juz- 20

Ya Allah the kindness and mercies of our Lord are beyond our understanding! He swt strengthens and "fortifies" a mother's heart so that she may earn His swt's pleasure and serve deen!

He swt makes it such that she willingly parts with her children in the way of the Creator... She not only abandons the world without thinking twice, she also willingly obeys the Creator without any question or doubt... She abandons her child to the custody of her Lord... She puts her trust in His Mighty Being... And all because she knows it is the will of Allah swt!
SubhanAllah!
I now understand how my mom travelled for a forty day hajj 30 years back while my eldest siblings were almost little toddlers!
My vision broadened to look beyond the "im"possibility of the situation! Without the availibility of any telephone facilities in those time, she simply relied on her trust in Allah swt and telepathy! SubhanAllah!
And then I saw how Allah swt will inshAllah make it possible for me to make pilgrimage! Neither will it be my decision to head for the auspicious journey, nor will my heart break for my children InshAllah! This simple ayaah taught me so much, subhanAllah!

LEAVE UNSAID...

2010-09-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHEEM

Dear Mom,
You lived your life like a say'ee...
Running back and forth to earn a living for us, and to fill our lives with material and spiritual goodness...
From living beauty to living prayer, you were everything to us; to your family; to your students; to the society; to the world...
Allah swt made you perfect! Perfect in beauty, complete in personality and faultless in character!

He swt filled your heart with strength, pateince, love, belief and purity!
He swt designed you like the angels. He gave your smile the brilliance of the stars.
He swt made you fragrant like flowers and bright like sunshine!

And then He swt gave you to us; to your off-spring!

We loved you and cuddled inside you... We did not do anything to earn your prayer, yet you prayed for us! You brought smiles our way, while we never realized how difficult it was for you...

You answered our questions and held our hand till fear gripped our heart...

You sang to us while we slept, you stroked our hair when we cried...

And when we were old enough to fly away from the nest, you closed your eyes,
And went into eternal slumber!

We wailed, we wept... Nothing was of avail... Allah swt had tried and tested you... You had earned His pleasure and done your part in our lives... The time had arrived and you were summoned!

Oh how I miss you Mom, uptill this day... This day when you would have completed 64 years of your life... But have not been with us to celebrate it for the past 8 years!

Your life was full of lessons for us, as was your demise...
We learned the reality and the purpose of existence in the way you gracefully accepted what Fate held for you!

We continue to make duaa for your eternal journey to be smooth and beautiful...
Complete, with angels and palaces and fruits!

There is nothing I can do to bring you back, to hug you and win your love...
Which is why, there are still many things that I will leave unsaid!

BROUGHT TOGETHER BY ALLAH SWT:)

2010-09-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem!
I just realized the other day that I dont begin my posts with Allah swt's name!
It surprised me that I had missed it all this while!
And then to think that He still made each post better than the other for my readers!
Alhumdulillah!
So now i'll make it a point to begin all posts with Bismillah IA!

This post can not probably be considered a proper post. It will not be of the length and detail that a blog post requires to be called a blog post. Yet, I just had to write these few lines that I found very special!

I could not help but thank Allah swt for the beautiful man He has united me with!
Little Friend can say the best things without even knowing how special each word is!
He told me recently, during a very normal conversation at the dinner table, that I was the answer to his duaas from Allah swt! Imagine how touched I was! There could not be a feeling more special than the one I got at hearing these words! I am an ordinary human being, with a very ordinary personality, moreover with a very ordinary appearance! And I have known all along that my hubby holds me very dear in his heart! But these words are historic!
Alhumdulillah! I hope and pray that all muslimahs land even loevlier husbands, Ameen! I realized the sanctity of Nikah and the importance of marriage in deen! Alhumdulillah! It is a beautiful unison, especially from Allah swt! SubhanAllah!
I love Little Friend for the little things he says that change my perception on life each time, alhumdulillah!
There could not be a better match for me than him, alhumdulillah!
Truly all pairs are made in heaven! Wow! SubhanAllah!

RE-AWAKENED????

2010-09-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

OK, so this is how this post actually started:
Almost fifteen years back, or maybe more, my cousin was chosen as the child star for a tooth paste advertisement... It was an ordinary advertisement showing a father and son rising in the morning to the yummy fragrance and taste of this particular tooth paste... But what made it different was it's punch line which went,"You have gotten up, but have you really woken up from sleep as yet???!!!" This phrase just stuck forever in my head... It was meant to be catchy for sure, I mean it was for marketing purposes after all, but I felt it really held depth... I mean when we say re-awakened what does it really imply?? The correct synonyms would be, "revive, rekindle or resuscitate"... In simpler words, bring back to life... So has my faith really revived over time?
And then AliF visited and the post took a slight turn:)
My gorgeous deeni sister dropped by to brighten my Juma'a! She looked the usual, lovely self MashAllah! Her insightful conversation had been missing from my life for quite a bit now and I was really pleased to see her alhumdulillah!
Anyhow, she actually came by to inform me of a certain group on fb that has been started by a very famous Pakistani journalist... His humorous/sarcastic articles have been a part of Pakistan's most prestigiousEnglish news paper for a very long time now... He is one very intelligent human being and is a gifted writer...

Now, AliF was very concerned about how so many muslims she knows have turned towards atheism! Certainly a genuine reason to feel grief and frustration... And then the other major concern she felt was about writers like the one in discussion who become atheists with time and impose their views on their readers!

She decided that I was the person she wanted to see so that I would write on the discussion board of the group and atleast raise some voice for reason... Which is why I decided that I would contribute to the discussion board as well as direct the theme for today's post towards this motive; as re-awakening has a lot to do with it!
Atheists are usually very intelligent people... I know some personally( such a sad fact! ) and others that I have heard of, all have some common traits:
1- They are well-qualified individuals;
2- They connect everything with science;
3- Their are stubborn in their opinions;
4- They do not desire to see the light;
5- In most cases they like to believe that
they are liberal-minded/broad-minded individuals...

My post might not seem well-researched(and certainly is not!), but is based on facts and experience... Now, if one goes over these traits slowly, it would not be difficult to see that these folks are actually ignoring the very teachings of Islam while indirectly applying them to their lives! Any intelligent mind(like how we see in the case of reverts) is automatically drawn towards Islam for it's precision and correctness! But this group of people fails to SUBMIT themselves to the Truth... It is this thin line that seperates them from the rest of us!

Same would be the case if they just realized for an instant even that all science originates from The Quraan itself! All they have to do is to go over the translation of the Holy Quraan and they will see it for themselves... Our Quraan revealed the truth about the beginning of man from a mere clot while science discovered it 30 years back(THE CLOT)!!!

Their "belief" in "dis-belief" hinders them from seeing the "light"... They fail to recognize the Truth because of their stubborness! They are adamant on NOT being convinced! Perhaps this is what Allah swt implies when He says that the disbelievers have their hearts locked and sealed! SubhanAllah!

In their effort to seem "modern thinkers" these individuals are liberal in their ideas only as far as eating, drinking and dressing AGAINST the rules of Islam is concerned! Like the French who are condemning the veil thinking that they are FREEING the mulim woman from suppression, these FALSE modern-thinkers have a very limited vision in reality! They see modernism in half-dressed women, wine and consuming haram food!

Now to sum up my connection between "reawakening" and "atheism"... These intelligent human beings, who are worshippers of science and are quite vehement in their views and prove to be very out spoken, could be "gateways" to knowledge... If only reawakening happened to them and they saw the thin line they have to tread upon to enter the circle of deen! They just have to pick a copy of the Quraan and apply that knowledge to their intelligent minds and to their modern philosophies... They have to quit being judgemental and leave space for debate...
They will have to invest the knowledge they ALREADY possess in the way of deen... and...VOILA! We will have lovely reawakened muslims in the ummah...

Ya Allah swt, please guide these individuals in to using their minds and abilities to see the Truth, Ameen!
Ya Allah swt, let not these individuals impose their views on others, Ameen!
Ya Allah swt, let satan fail in his efforts and protect the ummah from all such evils, Ameen!

Alhumdulillah for the reawakening that Allah swt provided me with... Not that I was an atheist, but was in dire need to rekindle my faith! I could not thank Allah swt enough for His bounties and especially for helping me use my mind towards exploring deen!

NOT JUST A SEASON...

2010-09-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

Alhumdulillah this year Pakistan is experiencing an early winter... I cannot say much about my city, it's not cold as yet, but the feeling is there! The early morning chill, the fragrance of winter at night, the nostalgia... Oh it's gorgeous already alhumdulillah...
I can feel silence in the air... When tea boils in the morning, the aroma settles in the quiet, still air... It lingers on for quite sometime, till we dont shake it out of the curtains and wipe it away with the dust cloth and mop... Till it stays it keeps us feeling cosy...
Yahya cannot decide whether it's cold or not... After a shower he feels chilly... Soon after it gets hot... I explain himit's just the weather changing it's mood! SubhanAllah for the wonders of nature and the wonders of Allah swt!!!
I still don't feel cold ofcourse (there is no reason to!) but snuggling up with a book is already so much fun!

Colors already seem more vibrant... I'm looking for reasons to add oranges and rusts to the sitting area inshAllah!

I am terribly missing the gorgeous winters of our northern areas! The coming of autumn dulls it to grey and orange hues... Winters bring bright hues on people while the weather becomes grey... Fruit stalls get piled with bright colored fruits ranging from pomegranates to oranges... Traditional wraps, shawls and cloaks brighten the surroundings... The mountain ranges look humble in the dull grey environment... Frothy cups of coffee release picturesque wisps of steam, that curl artistically and hover over the cups in the still air...

It is not just a season! It is a matter of joy... A matter of recognizing the might of the Lord! It's about falling in love with our surroundings... The consistency of nature to change every now and then... Presenting us with oppurtunities to celebrate the fruits of nature! Alhumdulillah!

Oh how gracious is the Almighty! SubhanAllah! Gracious for the Hot summers, the cold winters, the dry autumns and the festive springtimes! Alhumdulillah for these blessings of Allah swt! Certainly there are signs in the setting and rising of the sun and moon for the believers! As for the coming and going of the seasons, they are clear signs of His miracles and His powers! SubhanAllah!

RAMADAAN MINUTES

2010-09-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

Alhumdulillah we have all successfully completed the month of ramadaan, thirty days of spiritual enrichment, joy and festivity!
The much awaited and longed for month just quickly came and went... It was a matter of immense joy and utter disappointment, both!
All thanks to the Almighty for His rehma in giving us another succesful ramadaan...
I tried my best to devote myself to salaah, qiyaam, quraan and siyaam alhumdulillah! Yet I knew in the heart of my hearts that it could never be enough!
Anyhow, summing up ramadaan would be one tough task, however I have decided on jotting down my most important(closest to my heart) ramadaan minutes...

* We welcomed ramadaan by making arrangements for the first taraweeh alhumdulillah, Little Friend took off excitedly with his brothers for the first important salaah of the month...
* The air became well-lit with noor; Quraan recitation filled the atmosphere alhumdulillah!
* Yahya's school timings were altered. I organized my routine around his school timings and fasting, alhumdulillah!
* We spent much lesser time in front of the tube... I believe Satan was really constrained throughout the blessed month!
* Mina tried forcing food in our mouths constantly failing to understand what fasting really meant :)
* We focused on making iftaar as simple as possible so that we could support the flood-victims in spirit...
* I particularly enjoy ramadaan nights always... Maybe because the kids are fast asleep and the men are gone for salaah, gives me ample time to pray in silence alhumdulillah!
* alhumdulillah for the blessings of suhoor, we almost got our tahajjud daily... also I learned from my lovely eldest sister that our Beloved Prophet(saw) would recite ayaah nos. 190-194 from Surah Aali Imraan after tahajjud salaah... may Allah swt reward her for sharing this information with me...
* almost daily we commented on how quickly ramadaan was going by! before we knew it the first ashra was coming to an end and I was urgently reciting duaas meant for that ashra as well as begging Allah swt to give us this blessed oppurtunity over and over again... I felt like I realized too late! It seemed like I had lost something!
* the second ashra brought lovely weather alhumdulillah! fasting had never seemed this easy even in winters! Allah swt showered us with rehma!
* ramadaan took away all the worldliness away from us for a blessed thirty days... everyone avoided gossiping, or wasting time on the phone and the net, or even talking uselessly, like an unspoken rule... alhumdulillah!
* I praised Little Friend for his energy... fasting, going to work, grocery shopping and offering taraweeh... he did it all in the highest of spirits mashAllah!
* alhumdulillah it makes me really happy to say that maybe I could not pray enough but atleast we managed to devote ourselves to ramadaan... we avoided all other activities... Allah swt is so merciful that I believe everybody shuns their desires happily and are able to indulge in prayers whole-heartedly!
* there are so many ladies I know who manage to complete their recitation of the Holy Quran more than once mashAllah! I envy them and admire them... May Allah swt reward them abundantly for making the effort, Ameen!
I did complete the recitation once alhumdulillah,but also tried to go over as much of the translation as I could... I will try and base my future posts on as many ayaahs of the Quraan as possible inshAllah as there were numerous instances when I got goosebumps while reading the translation...
* either it was the flood situation in Pakistan or the feeling of gratitude towards Allah swt that had me over whelmed at iftaar time almost daily... the first date in my mouth at the sound of the adhaan would set a stream of tears flowing down my face, alhumdulillah!
* I really missed, both, my mom and Little Friend's mom tremendously :(
the bright side of the situation would be that missing them made me pray for them a lot!
* the arrival of the third ashra was again a reminder of our parting with the blessed month... my sister in Canada had her third ashra before us... she felt mixed feelings of sadness and happiness when I congratulated her on the arrival of the third ashra...
* the last ashra brought more of Allah's rehma as a pleasant surprise for us, alhumdulillah!
* I actually sat and cried(probably just a mood swing, lollllz) telling Little Friend that I had wasted alllll my time during ramadaan... I had absolutely not done enough to earn the pleasure of Allah swt! there was truth in the statement, nevertheless I am quite sure now that I over reacted and could have done less of crying and complaining(drama queen me, hehehe)...
* the beginning of the Blessed Alternate Nights, Layla tul Qadr had mosques over flowing with the chosen ones of Allah swt observing the "itikaaf"
* alhumdulillah two of my sisters were also able to observe the "itikaaf" successfully! im so happy for them!!
* I missed mom... imagining her observing the "itikaaf" in the gardens and palaces of Jannah, just as she did when she was with us...
* I was actually happy and relieved when the moon was not sighted on the 30th evening of ramadaan... it felt like we had been rewarded some bonus time alhumdulillah!
* and then arrived the last night of ramadaan, when eid preps were underway... this time I did not exactly over react, however I wept into my Quraan hearing the call of the maghrib Adhhan, hoping and praying silently that we all would live to see many more ramadaan InshAllah!
* we all received numerous text messages on how even the sky was weeping (mashAllah scattered thunderstorms) at the departure of the Blessed Month!
* soon the text messages changed into happy Eid ul Fitr messages... the muslim world was united in celebration alhumdulillah!

May Allah swt keep the muslim ummah united in qiyaam, salaah, siyaam and salaam , Ameen!
May the muslim ummah live in the blessings and happiness of ramadaan, always, Ameen!

Fi Aman Allah Ramadaan... I will miss you till you next arrive to fill our lives with renewed joy, spiritual enlightenment and the blessings of Allah swt inshAllah!
Alhumdulillah for a very blessed and fulfillinf ramadaan!

Minilicious

2010-09-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

My little daughter was tucked between Little Friend and me as we sat doing our mundane Ramadaan-Sunday activities. He BBM'd half way across the world, while I checked the news paper. Sunday editions are the most fun ones! The front page showed heart breaking pictures of the most terrible floods to hit Pakistan in around a hundred years. The homeless, the hungry and the ill were photographed in different angles to beautify the images as well as invoke feelings of compassion in our hearts, all at once.

By the time I had reached the entertainment section I had been through several episodes of killings, suicide attempts, protests following increased prices and load shedding and not to forget the false promises of the government heads made to the victims in each case... I sighed miserably... My little one took turns first staring at me then Little Friend... The entertainment did not interest me the least bit because of the high ramadaan spirit... I was not "wowed" by the "hottest trends" nor by the latest movie releases... Once again I shook my head in resignation... Minilicious also let out a loud sigh in imitation... I looked down at her very small face... A pair of large round eyes peered back at me... A naughty smile played around her thin lips almost making them disappear... Her curls looked really pretty in the Sunday afternoon sunlight... My heart gushed with love for her... I thought of how I could, if ever I had to, part with her... I thought of how much I cared about the teeny weeny details concerning her dressing and her hygiene and her manners and her speech... The list could go on and on and on!!! I feel so important because I am a mom!!! I worry about Minilicious getting hurt physically or emotionally... I wonder why she's never hungry and make an effort at stuffing her with the smallest portions of food... Her food sometimes comprises only of a tablespoon of porridge with salt and at other times only a handful of some regular food... that too is cold and dry by the time Minilicious is done eating...
My life revolves around her milk and her hair care routine... I pray that she feels love for the hijab and for modesty as she grows up into a pretty young woman inshAllah! Very often we sit and talk about how Allah swt appreciates girls who don the abaya!

There are times when I am quite satisfied by my role in her life alhumdulillah! But then there are also instances when I realize that it's not actually me who is raising her or watching after her... It is only the Almighty Allah who is incharge of the protection and well-being of my dear daughter. It is by His Grace that I have her in the first place! I have been appointed by Allah swt to look after her and make a good muslimah of her! Alhumdulillah!

It was a similar realization at that moment that not only helped me escape from the horrors that the floods had caused and removed the resignation in my heart but also instilled a feeling of gratification for the Lord Almighty! alhumdulillah for the lovely daughter Allah swt has given me! Alhumdulillah for the feelings of love and motherhood that He has filled my heart with! Alhumdulillah for the protection and guidance from Allah swt without which we all would be so helpless and lost!

Little Minilicious is very petite and still just a three year old... Yet it is all thanks to her existence that I realize the powers and bounties of Allah swt time and again! Alhumdulillah!

SUBMISSION!

2010-08-31T15:21:00.000-07:00

I want to begin this post with the mention of a dear friend and deeni sister... Her initials are A.F, hence AliF is what I want to call her in my blog... It would be quite appropriate as she is my first true deeni sister and marks the beginning of a deeni friendship just as the alphabet "alif" marks the beginning of Arabic alphabets...
AliF is really pretty mashAllah and looks especially gorgeous donning her black jilbaab and veil with only large dark eyes visible to the world... She has incredible courage mashAllah and a generous heart! But what I really admire about AliF is her ability to memorize just about any ayaah or hadith almost as soon as she is done reading it! MashAllah! She can fluently recite just about any reference from the quraan and the hadith in support of her argument! Above all AliF is not one bit arrogant about this wonderful trait that she possesses!

Once, when she had invited me and a friend over for breakfast, she was again trying to drill some deen into us and supporting her views with quraanic ayaahs, duaas and ahadith... It was then that she mentioned how tauba- istighfaar(repentance) were her favorite subjects in deen... For AliF it was a casual statement like how we all tend to discuss our likes and dislikes with friends over a cup of tea... But for me it was the beginning of a search!

I was already a hijabi at that time, but I dont know how much of a hijab I carried around my heart! I certainly did don the garment in an effort to please Allah swt but I had never really THOUGHT about DEEN till then!

That particular morning remained in my head till very recently... AliF must have said so many other things of graver importance that day, but all I seemed to remember was this one bit about having a favorite subject in deen... I too believe in tauba-istighfaar, but did I really love that particular subject???!!!

Time and tide carried me closer to deen by Allah's will and I began finding avenues that led me into researching deen as well as into making efforts to serve deen... Quite unintentionally I made my way towards all those paths that had one destination, deen!

It was only by the will of Allah swt and by His ultimate grace that one day I realized what Islam really was about... " la illa ha illallahu Muhammadur Rasool Allah" .... the essence of deen... SUBMISSION!!!

The essence of islam is in its simplicity; its purity and its honesty... There are no secrets in deen... The truth is out there... Out there for us to live it, see it, believe it and spread it...

That is the beauty of deen... Submission to the will of Allah swt, to the word of Allah swt, to the Prophets of Allah swt! It is about having faith in the Unseen; and in the powers of the Unseen.

Submission became ny favorite part of deen... The topic I most like to think about, read about and talk about!!!! SubhanAllah!!!

The following ayaahs from the quraan seemed to wake me from a deep slumber and guided me to the hair-raising conclusion of my quest:

"The foolish of the people will say: What has turned them from the 'qiblah' which they formerly observed? Say unto Allah belongeth the east and the west. He guideth whom He will onto a Straight Path"...

..." And We appointed the 'qiblah' which you formerly observed only that We might know him who followeth the messenger, from him who turneth on his heels. In truth it was a hard test save for those whom Allah swt guided"....

..." We shall make thee turn towards a 'qiblah' which is dear to Thee. So turn thy face toward the Inviolable Place of Worship, and you O Muslims, ... turn your faces towards it(when you pray)"....

Surah Baqarah- Ayaah Nos. 142, 143, 144- Part II

SubhanAllah! Almighty Allah expected His followers to obey the instructions of the Holy Prophet (S) without harboring any doubts in their hearts and having the faith that the Prophet(S) was truly a messenger of Allah swt who would only speak what his Almighty Lord ordained him to...

Further on, Allah swt showed us an excellent example of SUBMISSION in the ways of Prophet Muhammad(S). He (S) never questioned Allah swt and willingly obeyed the Almighty showing not just his submission to Allah swt but also his faith in the "hikmah" of the teachings of the quraan...

It is beautiful to submit ourselves completely to the will of Allah swt;
It is a feeling of achievement and completeness;
It is the height of a Believer's faith in the Unseen;
It is SUBMISSION only that makes our deen unique;
It is saying "ASSH HADU ALLAH ILLAHA ILLALLAHU
                     WA ASSH HADDU ANNA MUHAMMADAN
                        A"AB DUHU WA RASOOLLUH!!!"
p.s:
Jazak Allah AliF for setting me on this quest! I still don't have your abilities, but I can now sip a cup of nice milky chai and type about my favorite subject in deen:)
May Allah swt reward you for your perseverance , Ameen!

Spring-Cleaning and Abandoning the Material World...

2010-08-30T03:52:00.000-07:00

Yahya was asked to bring two old and used greeting cards for some art project in school...

I was very pleased to read the note as it reminded me not only that I have bundles and bundles of old greeting cards, but also that I had very recently started getting rid of old sentimental stuff... the stuff included my engagement flowers :) , my wedding flowers :) , a glass decoration, now stored in a cardboard box in the form of broken shards, that Little Friend got me before we were married, and a box full of chocolate wrappers that I treasured because I had received the chocolates from Little Friend right after we were engaged!!! Imagine how dear all this filth was to me that I felt people were very unfair when they suggested I should part with it!

So last week I labelled it as part "spring cleaning" and part "abandoning worldly possessions spree" when I actually discarded all these useless items( i still have a carton ful of them at the back of the cupboard... im scared even to open it, the things might have transformed into monsters by now!!!)

Anyhow, coming back to Yahya's school project, I picked out the first bag that was within reach to dig through it's items and discard useless ones as well as pick out two completely useless ones for Yahya's school project...
As I opened the bag I discovered that it was the one that carried all the lovely greetings that my late mom had received in her life!!! Card after card unravelled a story, a thought, a prayer! The birthday cards were dated from October 1st, 1993 to October 1st, 2002... There were the Get Well cards that reminded me of the terible times when mom fell ill and gave us a bad scare with the prospect that things like death and illness can inflict her!!! There were cards from our favorite Aunt with poems that read "My Sister In Law who is my friend"; " Miss You Terribly"; and "Get Well Soon"... Then there were Mother's Day cards we had given her... Some saying "Thank You Mother", others suggesting what a strong and lovely mother she was and then those that just had a poem on the cover with a blank page inside where we wrote all that we could to tell her "we loved her", "needed her", and "she was the only best thing in our lives" :( ... The words seemed so strangely ironic and painful today!!!

There were cards from her nephews and nieces full of love and concern for her... telling her she was just not "allowed" to fall ill and upset us...

All cards somehow held the same duaa for her time and again to stick around for a long, long time and watch her grand kids grow old, getting married and bearing great grand children for her... Or the ernest duaa in all the cards from my sibs and me to stay by our side and to keep smiling and laughing and cuddling us for ever and ever!!!!

Just as much as these cards have strengthened me in holding on to the past, they have also given me the courage to abandon worldliness... It was sad how every wish and every prayer insisted that we wanted this amazing mother, and aunt, and sister in law, and teacher with us forever!

Oh how it hurt when all those times came rushing back to me! My heart ached with the love each card held for Mom... The different writing styles, the lovely poems on each card, the pretty colors to match the pretty person that Mom was, the note of secrecy, closeness and fondness in the words written "for Mom only"...

It has already been almost eight whole years since we lost Mom! She would have turned 64 years old this October... But it is lovely to think of her as an eight year old in Jannah! The greeting cards held an entire legacy of love, relationships and pain... An entire lesson on life... Compiled for a woman who was full of life and has managed to "live" on very strongly in our memories in the busy lives of today...

So much for spring cleaning and abandoning the world! I have stuffed the package back where I had removed it from, with the intention of looking into it and all other sentimental stuff after sometime when hopefully I will be feeling more courageous and ready to part with inshAllah! It has to be soon though, for that is what will truly prepare me spiritually for an eternal journey inshAllah!

When Did We Become De-Sensitized???

2010-08-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

I remember keeping track of all the beauty pageants that took place in the world while I was just a little child. My elder sister, cousin and I followed the pageants as they led to the grand finale, Miss World Pageant... We actively commented on how each model smiled and talked and walked... It was endless...
At this point I would say an endless waste of time! This morning as I surfed channels to find the Saudi Channel, I stumbled upon the Miss Universe pageant that was actually happening live... In memory of my childhood I decided to watch a few minutes of it (especially since it has been a decade since we had watched it last)so that I could update my sister also on how "amazing" it was this year. And to my utter surprise, I found myself loathing every bit of it! Maybe because it was a ramadaan morning, or maybe because I have distanced myself completely from the filth of this world by the grace of Allah swt... For whatever reason, I was first repulsed by the sight of half-dressed women strutting on the ramp showing off their bodies; then I felt sympathy for the poor ladies for their Ignorance!

The west is always fussing about how a woman needs to feel secure and liberated and loved. But I do not seem to comprehend their idea of "security, liberty and love". If displaying our body is their concept liberation; feeling concious of who is watching us and who is admiring us gives them a sense of love and security, then really I fail to understand their ideals! These poor women might find comfort and peace in doing what they do best, but to me it seems like they are selling themselves off to the world! Isn't that how it works? Getting paid for displaying yourself???!!! I was sincerely concerned for these ladies and prayed that Allah swt guide them out of this shamelessness and immodesty!

As for my sister, my cousin and myself, I wondered when exactly had we become desensitized to watching half-dressed women??? We were born in Muslim households that carried sub-continental values and taught shame and modesty while a girl was still just three years old! Then how and when was it that we began enjoying these so-called "beauty" pageants??? Did we never feel that these ladies were a bit too exposed??? I do not remember ever feeling for these events or these ladies what I felt today. And I thank Allah swt immensely for distancing us from the immodesties of this world! Alhumdulillah! Above all, I know for sure that my sister shares my sentiments! Alhumdulillah!

I fear desensitization today like I have never feared it before!
I pray Allah swt protects the off-springs of the entire ummah from this horrible paralysis of the senses that could lead to immodesty, Ameen!

Planet of the Apes

2010-08-17T12:39:00.000-07:00

When in Mecca and Medina, everything seems to be a miracle. A lot of times just thinking loud is also granted as a wish. Even if one is craving for “qahwa”(tea) it will be offered to them quite unexpectedly, right between the lines of Believers assembled for salaah, just seconds before the Imam-i-Haram is about to begin the jamaat… Ya Allah! Certainly Allah swt is aware of what goes on in our minds and hearts. And then the promise of Allah swt to His believers that there isn’t any prayer that goes unanswered in the Holy land!
Similarly there are times when the most ordinary creatures, like cats and birds appear to be god-sent because of little unusual things they do. subhanAllah! Such is the might and mystique of the sacred land!

It was on my first umra that I encountered the magic and holiness of the Harmain Shareefain… sometimes people seemed to be super human and at other times ordinary birds like pigeons managed to surprise us!

While we traveled to the city of our Dear Prophet (saw), Medina from Mecca, we had to take a short break in the desert before we reached our destination which was still 3 hours away after already having traveled a good three hours… the Saudi government is indeed very hospitable and has arranged for several stopovers for travelers(hajis) in the desert… I would say they serve as oasis in the hot sandy stretch of desert… however, we do not always get to make a choice as to where we want to stop because generally everyone travels by bus and leaves the choice to the driver since he knows the route best and can decide how much time there still is before we reach our destination and whether we are missing any salaah or not… so when the bus stopped we all shared a common feeling of relief… there were people in a hurry to offer their salaah, or people like us who were traveling with children and had to meet their needs, and those who wanted a quick hearty meal… But what really got our attention when we got off the bus was the presence of hundreds of monkeys in the desert!!! They were everywhere… scampering on the bus, chasing people for food, running on the roads, sitting by the prayer area! I, for one, was surprised and scared! The monkeys had an eerie feel… they were actually baboons with a strange, repulsive appearance… spiky long grey strands of hair, which actually grew very thickly on their huge grey heads made their heads appear bigger. Their lithe bodies were long and they had long, strangely human looking faces!

Somehow we quickly managed to take turns performing our wudu and saying salaah, again taking turns and keeping guard for each other and finally rushing back to the comfort of our bus. It was then that we were able to actually see where the strange monkeys suddenly emerged from in the flat desert land… quite far in the distance we could see a ravine, a sudden dip in the smooth flat surface of the desert… the sand also took a grayish shade around the very deep looking patch of land. And that was where the creatures scrambled in and out of! My Lord! Were we amazed?!!! Almost all at once we were reciting SubhanAllah in praise for the Creation of the Almighty and Istighfaar in fear of the punishments and calamities that fell upon the nations much before us.
To date I am clueless about the reality of the mysterious creatures that I again saw when I made my second journey for umra alhumdulillah. Yet I often wonder about the truth behind their existence and shudder in horror at all the possibilities that come to my mind!

As I recited Surah-i-Baqaraah few days back the translation really got me at one point and set me wondering again,
“And you know of those of you, who transgressed in the matter of the Sabbath (Saturday), how We said unto them: Be you apes, despised and hated!”
65:2 Al-Quraan

ya Allah, we have very scant knowledge of your beings, but certainly there are signs for the believers in all of Creation!

Muxlim Blogs - thanayasgher - SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

2010-08-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

Muxlim Blogs - thanayasgher - SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

Islamic Widget

2010-08-11T20:40:00.001-07:00

2010-08-11T20:12:00.001-07:00

YA HAYATI

2010-08-08T13:53:00.000-07:00

I love my dear hubby for having said his five times prayers all his life, Alhumdulillah!

I love the one who I call Little Friend for having observed ramadaan with full religious zeal and sincerety ever since he was a little 13 year old playing cricket in the streets... Alhumdulillah!

I adore the man who is certainly my better half for his modesty and shyness... alhumdulillah!

I especially love him in the ihram when the pure person inside him surfaces making his innocent face glow... alhumdulillah!

I love you for being the muslim that you are my dear! Thanks for being my inspiration.... Thanks for being my teacher... Thanks for being my strongest support... alhumdulllah! Thanks Ya Hayati!!!

Fasting- Saum

2010-07-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Fasting does not just mean (abstaining) from eating and drinking, rather fasting means (abstaining) from idle and obscene talk…” Narrated by al-Haakim who said: This hadeeth is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim.

The exercise of abstaining from things otherwise lawful in the ordinary course of life, at the behest of Allah, strengthens man's morality and self-control and deepens in him the consciousness of the Lord. This is what distinguishes fasting in Islam from fasting in other religions.

The exercise of abstaining from things otherwise lawful in the ordinary course of life, at the behest of Allah, strengthens man's morality and self-control and deepens in him the consciousness of the Lord. This is what distinguishes fasting in Islam from fasting in other religions.

ya Allah!

2010-07-28T00:36:00.001-07:00

I got up to the news of a plane crash that happened in the margalla hills, Islamabad.... A sad beginning to an already sombre rainy day... The rain that had touched me yesterday, now seemed to be pouring in compliment to our sad feelings... Watching the rescue work being carried out in the rocky terrain is so depressing.... Further news suggests that the crash coupled with heavy rainfall can cause land slide which could effect the rescue operation as well as the rescuers! Ya Allah! Yet my belief in Fate is strengthened... 12 people who had confirmed their seats did not board the plane at all.... subhanAllah, surely Allah swt knows what is best for us and what may happen next!
May we all meet a smooth, painfree end. May Allah swt raise is with eimaan and in the state of paaki, Ameen...

THE RAIN, THE THUNDER, AND THEN THE CALL FOR ASR SALAAH!

2010-07-27T05:41:00.000-07:00

Rain was pouring since morning today… since after fajr to be precise… It was refreshing to feel the cool winds blowing after fajr salaah… The sounds of rain and the sounds of dawn … It was a gorgeous morning, subhanAllah! I stayed up long after my namaz simply to cherish a morning that brought with itself cool winds that wafted through our sitting area filling it with a mossy rainy fragrance… subhanAllah!

The day went on with heavy and light spells of rain. The trees were greener than ever before… My plants raised their heads high and danced in the pitter patter of rain… The sky showed different shades of grey at intervals. Sometimes they cleared up a little to show another less grey layer of clouds…

Tap water was also delightfully cold all day today thanks to the drop in temperatures outside... Everyone seemed joyous and cheerful, alhumdulillah... I was fasting and did not feel the slightest of hunger and thirst, alhumdulillah! My Little Friend decided on an all-chinese menu for iftaar cum dinner... We busied ourselves with the preperations... The soup boiled and cooked in a huge pot, alhumdulillah...

Little Friend decided to retire a bit before Asr prayers... I sat with the children telling them of the importance of fasting, the blessings of Allah swt and the delight in abstination, alhumdulillah! And then suddenly there was a window-shattering clap of thunder and heavy rain started falling... This excited the kids and they ran to watch nature in action... Winds billowing; absolutely blinding rainfall creating pools of bubbles everywhere; the earth giving out steam creating fog all around us.... We stood mesmerized by the sight, and then it happened, the Asr adhaan! SubhanAllah! Among all the miracles of Allah swt, the adhaan just seemed like another miracle... A sound from the heavens... It over-whelmed me... Almost seeming unreal, it did not sound like the call to prayers but a call for us to literally turn ourselves in the direction of Allah swt... SubhanAllah!

Adhaan has touched the very core of my heart so many times before... At the birth of my children when their sweetest Abu in the world gave the call in their tiny red ears; the time when Mom closed her eyes to the world as the zuhr adhaan sounded; the time when I anxiously waited for the fajr adhaan after Little Friend's lovely mom left us; when a complete solar eclipse occured just as the muedhin began the Asr adhaan; and also when I first performed my umra... Today was another such instant when the Call gained a higher meaning for me... SubhanAllah!!!
All praise is for Allah swt who created the heavens and the earth!!!
Subhan Allahi Wabi Hamdihi
Subhan Allahil Adheem...

My Flight...

2010-07-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

I was eighteen when my father was appointed by the frontier works constabulary to supervise three of their projects that were in the North West frontier province. To me it seemed that abba had flown into an abyss of tribes, turbans and chadors. An unknown, rocky land with an eccentric language. A place that refused to share anything with the country; a place that had its own set of impenetrable secrets; a place where lifestyle and dress-code were dictated.

After a few months of settling down, abba asked me to visit him. It would be a good time as his friend of youth had his daughter’s wedding celebrations underway. Abba’s friend-ship with taj uncle went a long way back. Their youth was now a joke they often laughed over. Taj uncle was a friend, a well-wisher and a brother! My siblings and I were very fond of him and his family. We enjoyed his company, adored his Pathan accent and admired his good looks. His broad structure seemed capable of shouldering the responsibility he held--- soldier of the state.

It was the end of October 2000. I was elated. But deep down inside a voice kept telling me how much I was going to miss mom. I was in the age when one liked everything…. I liked my age. It was my youth. The feeling must have been the same for abba and taj uncle in their good old days, only that it was 20 years or so ago. Maybe this is what the cliché refers “history repeats itself”.

Everyone operates differently; I like to hide in my cocoon when I fear an outburst of emotion. I hated the thought of parting from mom for even a few days. The night before my flight was a restless one. A dry October night. I slept in my brother’s room, sleeping in momma’s room would not be a “cocoon” thing to do. Morning was busy with my sister-in-law helping me pack and unpack and then, of course, re-pack. And with a lot of things I was seriously glad she was a true lender. In the afternoon I got dressed for my journey to Peshawar in a black and orange short shirt and straight pants. I draped the dupatta around myself; that quite prepared me for my trip to Peshawar.

Remaining in my cocoon, I embraced momma very briefly and coolly at the airport. That was unlike me. I was her kitten, always snuggled into her. But my cold front did not allow anything like that. Now I wish I would have hugged her closely and held her a little longer…..

As I walked with my trolley through the entry gate after having my ticket checked by the civil aviation guards, I remember feeling the cold breeze of the air-conditioned hall against my face. The breeze gave me a feeling of unclipped wings. I liked it. After all, it was my age.

I landed in Peshawar just as the Maghrib azans sounded over all other calls of the city and birds began their flight home. I was not homeward bound though. My flight was a launch into the world of a language that was enthralling and suggested intrigue…. It had accompanied me all through the flight! To be the only one who spoke Urdu was funny because I had not even left my country. Yet, it was scary too--- I felt alone! But in the age that I was I liked fear. I liked blind turns and going uphill at breakneck speed was probably the best thing in the world. Fear had me excited. It posed unknown challenges!

The airport was a small place where getting lost was impossible. With luggage in trolley once again, I exited the building. To my surprise there was not a single woman in sight on the crowded airport! I thanked god for the safety of my chador and searched for abba….there he was, just as I had been seeing him since birth. Clad in cotton kurta shalwar, with cigarette in hand, Peshawari sandals, silver hair neatly combed. My dear abba. What a relief it was to spot him in that crowd of strange men! He smiled with pride and happiness when I mouthed the word “Abba”. His Swati friend Akbar uncle stood beside him dressed in a similar style.

From the time that I had boarded the flight to Peshawar, I had started writing little notes to momma. In my imagination I was updating her with the events of the day. For me it should have been an instance of realization that life sometimes had to be lived without those who you love. I did not know it then, I simply kept trying to come to terms with the fact that I was barely a week’s distance from momma. It was the age. I could not have known that the powers that controlled destiny were working on teaching me a lesson that would have long-term effects!

I had heard the wildest tales about the N. W. F. P being highly primitive in customs and conservative in lifestyle. But to my surprise, I discovered those days were long gone. While getting dressed for a party at taj uncle’s the same night of my arrival in Peshawar I wanted to set an impression but made sure to carry my chador for I wanted to do “as Romans did”. But upon arrival I found myself stripped of my lovely chador and escorted into a big round garden where men and women together enjoyed traditional Pashto music being played on traditional musical instruments. The atmosphere held romance. Exotic tea was being served, afghan musicians played glorious music, the heavy-set pathan men, all belonging to important government posts, others from the army and most of them family men hooted and sang along; lovely fair-skinned, green-eyed damsels seemed sent from paradise…………..oh I was mesmerized! And I sure did learn not to rely on hearsay!

The people were beautiful. Very courteous, warm and could sometimes prove to be funny. Abba had quite a few other friends from his youth who had lived in the swat valley previously but were now in Peshawar. I got to meet a lot of families there because of abba’s acquaintances. It was always a pleasure. They treated me lovingly and helped me feel comfortable. Each home held a different tale for me. Taj uncle’s was one of honor and prestige. The house had several huge rooms, a dining room that resembled a mess hall, a courtyard at the back and a garden like the ones I often saw in English movies. Then there was Akbar uncle’s house. Very traditional in structure and, to my delight, was the picture of a typical Peshawar family. Akbar uncle’s sister, Malika aunty lived in Peshawar’s posh area, hayatabad. She had a lovely, cozy, English home, decorated in dull hues.
I learnt how education was very important to all the families I met. Almost every other girl I met was either specializing in some field or taking on some professional course. They were well-aware and made interesting company. They still followed rules about draping chadors around themselves in market places or any other public place. This added secrecy and charm to their women; I enjoyed every bit of maintaining that mysterious outlook. It was the age!

They believed in treating their women tenderly and provided them that security and warmth which our modern world was unfamiliar with. They were simple people who did not bother much about what the world did. They had progressed tremendously and yet, did not overlook tradition.
I was showered with lovely gifts or rather I should say tokens of love. Each one held a story in itself. There was the fabric from the gilgit border and the lovely fabric my hosts especially chose for momma from their best marketplace and the mullagori marble stand for keeping the holy quran from abba’s staff at the marble factory; also, there were the sweet, vague words and the naughty, Pashto gestures.

The hot dry days would flow into long silent cold nights. I wished for a promenade in the gardens of the mess. I wanted to pick flowers and smell the crisp air. I did not have the opportunity of living certain moments that would enrich my soul. And I wished very hard for at least a glimpse of myself touching petals and feeling well-maintained lawns beneath my feet. It would have been possible with momma only. Each night brought me closer to departure and momma. She, who read my mind and loved me unconditionally… momma!

I am so thankful to abba for the day that he took me to the pak-afghan border. Maybe it was my age but it held real importance for me. The ride was long and went up rocky brown mountains. We passed the local militia at several places; bony in appearance but firm in will and physical strength. Black kurta shalwar was their uniform and they trekked the mountains without a bead of sweat on their broad foreheads!

I continued to marvel at the majesty and beauty of the barren mountains. They were like their people; unyielding, sturdy, expansive. It was unbelievable how such an unwelcoming structure could hold such enigma and attraction. The winding paths were a steep uphill ride with sharp, blind bends. My ears crackled and my hearing constantly ranged from good to very bad to average. We passed colossal fortresses, caves, military units and officers’ mess. All over-powering and fascinating sites. The mountains were strangely unaccommodating. They were in so many shades of brown and gold and chrome, their color palette surely was conjured up in the heavens. The bright day light did nothing to make them cower. They had rough edges. The sun light could only bounce helplessly over them. My eyes felt their prickly sharp edges. Maybe it was my age; I fell in love with the masculine mountain peaks.

The border was a delightful sight with its hustle bustle. It seemed like a busy marketplace. Or maybe a flea-market. Burqa-clad females moved about, but as was usual male dominance could not go unnoticed there, too. There were fruit stalls; and turbans bobbing up and down either when there was accord or difference in conversation. The division between nations based on lines drawn by man really saddened me. It seemed to be the only root-cause for all problems. Why couldn’t we live as a whole? The globe began feeling finely and carefully etched and dirtied by false lines to me since then.

I went and touched the afghan earth. It felt like the earth I was standing on.
How difficult must it be to follow a line that does not exist geologically?!!! I am sure it was my age; I felt I was an afghan. The afghan that abba and momma often told me about, royal, friendly, fun-loving! I had the misfortune of witnessing them as a fallen nation with no hope of betterment. They had not lost their land. They had lost their home, their shelter, their pride. I was told about how the migrants that left Afghanistan and entered Peshawar were trying to cope hopelessly. There were financial problems, health problems and even sometimes life and death problems! The beautiful flowy gowns that were displayed in nearly all shop windows were traditional to the Afghans. Pathan weddings now had lovely colorful decorations in laces and nets and flowers which were also brought in by their migrating friends! They were doing everything they could to earn a living and maybe somehow gain the past splendor!

On our return from the border we stopped by the Khyber rifles mess for lunch. Once again I found myself in awe with the décor, the pictures of past army generals covering the high, old-British walls, the long carpeted passages, the dining hall with its elegant long table and the orderlies at our beck and call. We were entertained by the brigadier on duty who gave us stories about the Pathan culture, the land and the mess itself. At another mess we saw a tree chained to the ground. It is said, abba informed me, that the British general who was posted there in the pre-partition era got drunk one night and imagined the giant tree running to attack him. Out of fear he ordered his men to immediately restrain it using chains. Just as much as I found the story amusing, I wondered why decent, civilized people wished to indulge in such habits and become a joke for centuries to come!

That night after my tiring ride to and back from the border when I was in deep slumber, I dreamt of momma. It was a chilly dry night with the temperatures dipping till 10 degrees centigrade. I cried in my sleep and wailed. Out of fear that I might wake the people in the next lodge poor abba woke me up. He told me I was screaming “momma, momma”.

Pashto music really had me off my feet. I believe it was my age. It was a happy music; a loud music. I could not imagine a sad song in that culture. Their musical instruments and traditional dances were beautiful. Different tribes had their own special version of twirls and jumps and claps. Catchy tunes were played on drums as men frolicked in traditional outfits with flare shirts and turbans. They had us entranced with their rhythmic movements. Their expertise was commendable and their fervor contagious. The women however did not seem to have their version of any of the dances….. They danced into the night in a tent reserved for them. There was much rejoicing.

Abba helped me buy several music cassettes of their famous musicians. It was a purchase driven by my age; a funny story for my later years perhaps.

Abba’s office was housed in a fortress called the “Bala Hisar”, meaning, “THE HIGH FORTRESS”. It was raised high on a hill. The radiance and brilliance of the building lay in its antique appearance. It had a castle-like façade, carved out of the mountain it stood on. Winding, spiraling, slopy paths led to the entrance of the building. Once again I feel unfortunate because I did not get to visit abba’s office, my important abba, but the bright side is that I have been within the premises once when we passed through the building while picking somebody. The building is resonant of a rich past, an important past. At present, it maintains its richness and significance. It is a landmark. In all the daytime noise and din, I felt the solemn and dignified presence of the over-bearing building. The first time that I set my young eyes on the fortress, I envied those who spent their entire day there. I wished I could own it somehow…. It was the age!

It was nice to see abba’s old times return. He had an “army” of servants, lots of people who were loyal and dear friends, three factories under his supervision and comfortable accommodation. I must correct myself here, old times could never return. The power, prestige and riches were a fairytale that helped the women of the family at their children’s bedtime. He certainly did not have palaces, fleets of Cadillac and Mercedes, and 20 acres of industry under him with a workforce of 200 “worshipping” servants, anymore. But I was very happy to witness him in a commanding position again. His meticulous manners, throaty voice, his extensive knowledge on social and religious issues and travel experiences complimented his status.

Time fortunately flew by for me in Peshawar. There surely wasn’t much for me to see. But whatever there was, I had explored it and cherished it. It was a “been there done that” experience. For the age I was in the lessons were numerous. One could get a bullet in the head while playing hop-scotch on the border if you accidentally stepped on the line that never existed; the pathans spoke in Pashto only; I had to drink tea politely without letting my hosts have the slightest hint of my detest for the drink; and I could not get a stoneware tea-set with a tea-pot included!

I was young and impressionable. I enjoyed every bit by the strangeness of cultures, norms and traditions. The real lessons were an undercurrent that surfaced years later. Sometimes I still feel washed over by a strong sense of realization of both momma’s fears and motives at the time, or of the strong bond I formed with the rest of my family because of the brief distance I had to maintain with them, or how abba was over possessive of me, or of the weaknesses I had finally conquered simply because I had made an eight day journey. A simple people had transferred their simplicity in me. I saw the plight of the Afghans at having migrated to Pakistan but now relate to their predicament. Sometimes I wonder how I could have missed these important lessons just eight years back. But then I remember it was just the age…

TRAVELOGUE

2010-07-05T01:25:00.000-07:00

I have not traveled far and wide. I have not experienced the sights and sounds of the world. I have not met people from the great beyond… But I have lived a thousand journeys. The irony of life is never-ending. And it is in these ironies that you travel, break boundaries and realize that the same events are happening over and over again while the ebb and flow of time carry you far from where you once stood. Time is like the seas, the waters. It’s as ancient, deep and vast. As monstrous and gigantic; forming ferocious, gaping holes on land as it erodes sand mercilessly.

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I was twelve, or rather 10 days from turning twelve (July 23rd, 1994), when I went up north with mom. Up north is a slight exaggeration as we went till Murree and Abbot Abad only. But really, we lived our lives.
By “we” I imply my elder sister Angel, mom and myself.
Till then we were carrying on monotonous, boring, rigid lives partly dictated by the rules of society and partly enforced on us by our status of a “broken family”. I remember vividly how the excitement stole the sleep from my eyes the night before we were meant to travel. It was a 9 o’ clock flight and we had to reach the airport by 7 am max. It was the day angel and I was really looking forward to. It was unbelievable. In fact, it felt like we were getting wings to fly freely rather than board a plane and fly to some particular destination. Everything was new to us.
I like using the term “us” at some places because I know I speak for angel as well as for myself.
I loved the plane; and of course the plane-ride. I did not conceal my excitement and bounded up and down the aisle all the while. Mom glowed with happiness as she witnessed her baby daughter’s thrill at being on board an air craft. I remember asking the air- hostess for a little bit of everything, from tea to coke to extra supply of napkins. It felt magical, the clouds outside the window, the polluted aerial view of my birth city and yes, oceans of sky around us. As the plane took off mom said a little prayer and bowed low as if praising the Almighty for His magnificence…. She did the same as we landed.

My recollections might not appear to be in order. But that is how they come to my busy mind.

Late July meant monsoon was still in full swing. We were greeted by rain clouds and humidity in the capital. Angel and I were even happier to see that because monsoon or not it hardly ever rained back home.

Mom had traveled extensively once. She had been up north uncountable times and seen Italy, France, England. She had also been to everyone’s idea of a dreamland, America in the swinging 70’s. At the time that mom had traveled my family was doing really well and all her tours were rather lavish. Yet, mom’s joy on this trip was heightened because she was taking her children, her assets on a journey that would free their spirits.

We spent a day or two in our most gorgeous capital city from where we headed off to Murree. The hill station greeted us with beauty that we wished we could carry home with ourselves.
We had a song for our trip. My brother had provided us with loads of candies, “slims”, and 2 music cassettes that we heard all the way. The song that has since been a reminder of our trip was from Bhai’s personal favorites too. It was a song I searched for years after that trip and finally got my hands on thanks to the advent of the internet age. A Tracy Chapman number it went, “oh mountains, oh times”. The African music blended in with our rural surroundings and the lyrics filled those spaces in our mind that needed appropriate words to associate the scenery with.

Murree had angel and me gushing over the wonders of nature. The morning we saw our first rainbow; the terror that gripped my heart one rainy night when the clouds crashed into each other producing window-shattering sounds of thunder; the precarious 60 degree growth of trees from the edge of a cliff all the way to the dark cloudy skies.
There were nights when we ate chicken pulao in the mess of our government owned guest house, and on other nights we had our dinner in candle-lit style by the terrace window during power breakdowns; the scenery replaced with rows of cars flashing their headlights like tiny fire flies on far off roads concealed by the dark of night.
From Murree we visited a few other places. Our stay in abbot Abad was brief but wonderful. Not only were angel and I elated by the height we stood on but by the thought that we were sharing the premises of Kakul Academy with the many cadets who got trained there! The cadets, presumably, had a much tougher routine and never did our paths coincide, yet we were quite content at just having them around somewhere.
I would like to pause with my reminiscence here and thank a very special somebody who sponsored our stay at all these lovely and prestigious locations all the way from Islamabad to Murree to abbot Abad. I cannot mention names because I have not had the chance to gain permission; also sadly, have not had the chance to enquire upon their health; have not had the chance to return the favor.
Abbot Abad further became headquarter for us as we explored its surrounding areas, there was Thandiani and Shangri-La and Taxila. Wonders of nature brought us to wonders of the past civilizations with the belongings of the Indus Civilization that had been excavated from Taxila.
Another wonder, or rather miracle of nature that we witnessed was the hot water spring flowing in the “nawa” town situated at the entrance of abbot Abad. A mosque was built at the site. Devotees crowded the mosque courtyards waiting for their turn at the water fountain. Mom also said her prayers in the mosque. Her religious zeal was enhanced by the happiness achieved in seeing her plans materialize and by the spirituality released by the forces of nature that we all felt on the tour. We woke up daily to find mom facing the green hills lost in the recitation of Quran. Her rhythmic recitation soothed us and became food for our soul in the mornings we spent in the northern areas.

Every tour, every journey has its highlight. And for us the highlight was definitely when we took a tour of the “oh-so- beautiful” P.C, Bhurban. It became our destination on august 2nd, 1994… my 12th birthday. Mom had always managed to throw nice parties for my birthday. She made every possible effort to make things just right. She always bought me some special present too. But this birthday lunch mom treated me to at P.C; Bhurban will forever remain embedded in my memory. I remember clearly the faded blue jeans and white shirt I wore that day. My hair was very short then, so I could not tie it up rather wearing it down was a have to. As is usual in that season, it was a rainy day. Mom, angel and I got a table by the window. The scenery was breath-taking. There was so much of green, yet our eyes did not get tired of it. It was an endless continuation of forest after forest and hill after hill. Clouds drifted by and each time angel and I felt greater excitement. We sat quiet. The three of us just gazed outside the window as nature played its tricks. There was no going back for us at that time. We were part of a dream that belonged to each one of us. We lived that dream together. Nobody was there to break our silence. Nobody was going to tell us that we lived our lives awkwardly. No one was setting patterns for us. Each individual sat and gazed outside with their little thinking clouds growing larger by the minute.
Mom had witnessed such sights so many times. Now when I think back I realize that probably she was not there with us at that very moment. She might have traveled way back in time to smell those fragrances, meat those people and cry those tears that accompanied her everywhere she went. Tears are so selfish. Mom could have been re-living some moment of a life that was now in some faraway backyard. That lunch, as I see it now, was more for mom than for us. God made it that way for us; He wanted us to ponder over the fond memories of mom those moments gave us; He made it that way so we could cherish the wonderful person that she was, so that we could understand the unthinkable traumas of life that she used as an inspiration to give her children happy memories, so that we could give her a little more love, so that we could see the larger than life person residing within her….. So that we would feel her even when she would not be here.
Here when I write “we”, it not only refers to angel and me, but to all my elder siblings. I am writing a language that only we know and understand. Each one of us will be able to interpret these words better than the other.

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A lifetime has seemingly been lived within these few years. So much happens in such a short span of time that it becomes hard to believe that so much could have been achieved in such a short while. I got married to a man my mother decided was the best choice for me on December 12th 2002. It was a turning point. Like how it must be for any man or woman, alike. It was a moment of femininity, of girlishness. Just as much as Nadeem and I were excited to be getting married, we were equally scared of how things would be in the new life we were about to enter. Nervousness would have been an understatement to what we felt. Scared is the term that best explains our apprehensions of the time.

Mom was of the opinion that a man was full of praise and the most beautiful thoughts in the first year of marriage. And, as always, I found her to be very correct.

The following weekend after our wedding, Nadeem and I headed up north for our honey moon. Now whatever is this word meant to suggest?!! For Nadeem and me it was a true falling in love experience. The nicest gestures and words were exchanged. We were getting to know each other; adapting to love and hold dear the person we saw in each other, and growing to love and respect the person we both knew we could become for one another. I felt myself grow and expand as a human being while Nadeem nurtured the child in himself while with me.

On the morning of December 17th we almost fled to the capital in search for togetherness. At reaching Islamabad we quickly found the P. C. Bhurban van.
Once again I was headed for that romantic destination.
As the passengers, six in all, boarded the van, Nadeem and I arranged our luggage such that we occupied the entire first row. Soon the van was carrying us outside Islamabad, on the winding twining paths. I was sleepy and huddled into a deep carefree sleep next to Nadeem’s warm and comforting presence. I could not recall a similar carefree slumber.
After a two hour ride Nadeem softly nudged me awake as we approached the hotel designed to provide the most romantic setting for those seeking some quiet time on their own.

The next few days always come back to me as a dream. I learned that I was a princess. And there was so much I ruled. I learned that I was beautiful. And I had the ability to add beauty to someone’s life. I learned that I was special… and I emanated a glow of serenity, peace and contentment.

Then came that lunch when Nadeem and I got a table by the window. We made wonderful memories once again, by the thrills we felt watching the lazy clouds and the tall pompous mountains. Here I was someone’s doll. A doll he liked for her tiny hands and feet and her cotton candy hair. And there he was my strength, my faith… my man. We sat silently over the meal, smiling a smile that we both were unaware of. There existed an air of belongingness, devotion, sincerity and trust. I don’t seem to remember how those minutes ticked away. We were living that moment as we had never lived any other. We were just at the beginning of making happy memories and we both knew there were still many to make. I knew even then that my happiness touched peaks unimaginable. That dreamy moment was to bring Nadeem and me into the tightest knit bond. For us it was a simple meal meant to shun our hunger and quench our thirst. Those few words of affection that we spoke are now lost somewhere in the vastness of space.

I still cherish that one ghazal that my dear hubby often sang during that trip when he was in the highest of spirits. All I can do right now is to translate it poorly as the meaning and depth of those words in Urdu can never be caught correctly in any other language. It somewhat goes:
Two stars are to meet on earth tonight,
Flowers of hope are blossoming tonight…

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Our journey of life went on with the usual twists and turns, ups and downs, tears and laughter for the next seventeen months, a year and a half, till it was brought to the doors of a grand new start with the first cries of our newborn son. That was some day. The joy, the disbelief, the pride… it was all immense! Nadeem, my sisters and I cried tears of joy. I missed mom. It again seemed like I had lived a decade or so in this short span of time because of the way things had been. I had found the love of my life, watched mom slip out of my hands, lost my grandmother as well, and now here I was holding my firstborn close to myself in my swollen arms. It was a grand new beginning for Nadeem and me. I turned out to be a finicky mom… and Nadeem a loving father, assisting the baby and me in all the tasks.

I was an emotional mom, wanting to celebrate each one of Yahya’s days in this world. As he would grow a month older I would have a small celebration. If nothing, I made jelly and whipped cream to mark the occasion. When Yahya was turning 5 months old, Nadeem decided to take us along on his official trip to Islamabad. It would be an interesting celebration to mark Yahya’s five months. And so we took off on a difficult journey, not because Yahya was troublesome, rather because we were not used to carrying a little one on board an airplane.

The first week kept Nadeem very busy. Soon, though, he got time for us. The three of us cruised through the streets of our clean, beautiful capital listening to the soaring voice of Atif. It was already cold in Islamabad, with shades of autumn brightening up the dryness and starkness of the early winter season. We felt free of all boundaries and enjoyed the closeness introduced in our lives by Yahya. Each picture we captured and everywhere we went we knew we wanted happy memories for him. Something we could tell him ten years from then.
One such memory is of our trip to Bhurban. The same old soothing spot that would ordinarily bore a person by the third visit, but it held an enigmatic attraction for me. It held memories of the best times of my life. Bhurban felt warm, cozy and familiar to us. But to Bhurban, we were always somebody new. At first a boyish 12year old spent time there with her family, then arrived a young happily married girl with the faint fragrance and hints of fading henna on her wrists and ankles, then came a woman who held her baby close to her body for protection from the chill of the mountain weather.
Another epoch in the history of happy memories: Nadeem, Sunya and Yahya got a table by the window. Yahya, oblivious to the drifting clouds, hungrily drank the first of chicken corn soup that his mom fed him. Mom and dad reminisced over sweet, far-off memories that now belonged to somebody else. Sunya’s mom was now nature. She lazily passed over the window or busily gathered over the glass roof to pour down the Almighty’s blessings. She raised her green head high on top of the mountains and softened the mount’s might and ferocity. I hummed to myself, “wo lamhe wo baatein, wo bheegi bheegi yaadein…”

Ya Allah!

2010-06-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been praying and begging Allah swt to distance me from people who create fitna in my life. I also ask Allah swt to grant these people in discussion with hidaya. A mere visit by such people lead me into back-biting, lying and mis behaving. Back-biting happens when they leave and I discuss what a pain they have been... Lying takes place when I twist facts to avoid answering queries made by these irritatingly curious people. And in the end, they cross their limits in questioning me and lead me into saying something completely unlike myself; something that comes to me on impulse; something that I could have said a bit tactfully! Oh how I regret my entire conduct!

And then, there are times when I am sure that these people were probably not as wrong as I was in the way I acted! The realization is so painful that Shaytaan coaxed me into carrying out acts that cause Allah's displeasure. How could I so easily be led into doing something so wrong???!!! Ya Allah! It gets so difficult to decide between right and wrong sometimes! A reality check mostly helps me conclude that I could have been more rational and tactful! I could have controlled myself and done better. I could easily have avoided back-biting! Nothing is worth devouring your dead brother's flesh! Ya Allah!!!

Some people can just be too difficult to handle. I can only ask Allah swt for guidance and distance from all fitna-causing elements, be it from among His creation or man-made inventions...

May Allah swt grant us all with hidaya, sabr and shukr... Ameen!

To my daughters with Love...

2010-05-26T00:15:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to my daughters in islam...

I have five daughters alhamdolillah. I have not borne all five of them, but I hold them dear in my heart like how I would a daughter who I had carried within myself for nine whole months!
Alhamdolillah for the teachings of our holy Prophet(S) that taught us to learn and cherish our daughters! They brighten our lives and soften our hearts! Their smiles become our delight and their tears become our sorrows.
The five daughters whom I love like my own include my four nieces and my own little bundle of joy, Mina! For me they are images of Maryam(AS), Fatima(R), Khudaija(R), Aisha Siddiqa(R) and Zainab(R)... When I make duaa for them I dont ask less than the world and not more than the Heaven! For me their ideal spouse would be an image of Ali(R), Abu Bakr Siddique(R), Umer(R) and Usman(R).
I fear for their innocence, yet I enjoy their display of cleverness and wisdom. I pity them in their pain, yet I take pride in their patience and bravery. I want to shelter them, yet I wish for them to explore the hidden treasures of the world! I wish for them to be representatives of the Faith and upholders of the Principles!

Above all I wish for them to have daughters who will love them and cherish them just like they love and cherish their moms!

He (SAW)said "Fear Allah (SWT) in respect of women; and, the best of you are they who behave best to their wives; and, a Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he is displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good; the more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is", and;

"Whosoever has a daughter and he does not bury her alive, does not insult her, and does not favour his son over her, god will enter him into paradise" , and;

"Whoever befriendeth three daughters, or three sisters, and teacheth them manners, and is affectionate to them, till they come of age, may God apportion Paradise for him."

SubhanAllah! Are we not fortunate to have such treasures that will lead us to jannah if we raise them well, feed them well and hold them dear to ourselves!

Alhamdolillah for everything

2010-05-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

Temperatures are rising. Pakistan is generally hot, especially at this time of the year. With rising temperatures come electricity issues. Today, also, we did not have electricity for five hours altogether. Yahya got vaccinated, we came home, and poof the electricity went out. Mina has a bad throat, we saw the doctor, came home and poof... the electricity went out! Little Friend had a long day in Lahore yesterday, he wanted a nice nap after lunch today, just as he hit the sack and I ushered the kids to their room where I could keep them busy, poof... the electricity went out! A series of power outages followed by bouts of frustration at our government, the heat and the inability to watch t.v or charge our mobile phones in time! What we kept missing out on were the many facilities we still enjoyed as compared to a great percentage of Pakistanis who suffered a great deal more in this heat coupled with the power outages. Alhamdolillah we have a u.p.s and a generator system. Other than that we have air conditioners that are immediately turned on once electricity is restored. To avoid complete darkness at night my dear Little Friend has made adequate arrangements including two rechargeable lights and ofcourse the generator and u.p.s.! To top it all, if the lights are out for very long, Little Friend is kind enough to take us for a ride. We return all freshened up and cooled down.
ALHAMDOLILLAH!!!
How blessed are we! How merciful has our Lord been! How fortunate are we! When we hit the roads and go around having ice cream and cracking jokes and listening to our kids sing along with their favorite nasheeds, we happen to pass by lines upon lines of apartment buildings that have paint chipping off and . Tiny apartments with almost no ventilation are home for families that cannot afford any generators or u.p.s. There could be pregnant ladies living in them, or people suffering from illnesses, or even little children who just need space to breathe freely and run around to break free from the monotony and boredom caused by constant power outages. But what makes them better off than us is their happiness and contentment inspite of the problems they face. They find happiness in the sounds of life they can hear in their tiny windowless apartments several feet above ground. They are content in simply accomplishing their daily tasks succesfully. Those tasks might include collecting and saving enough water during supply time, for the next 24 hours, in buckets, drums and cans.
ALHAMDOLILLAH!
How thankless are we! How can we even imagine complaining! Will we be able to face Allah swt on the Day of Qiyaamah!
I hope that we all become truly happy and content people. And I hope that we quit counting the blessings of those who are materially ahead of us, and that we begin considering the blessings those who find peace and happiness in deen!

May Allah swt guide us to being grateful and truly happy Muslims. Ameen

Innocent Wide-Eyed Questioning

2010-05-17T19:04:00.000-07:00

My son, who just turned six mashaAllah, has the roundest most beautiful eyes in the world mashaAllah:)
The size and shape of his eyes lands them an innocent and dreamy look! Long lashes shade his wide eyes. When sleepy, his eyes speak for him. When sad, they are quick to show his emotions. When learning something new, enchantment and enlightenment sparkle in his eyes. When happy, his eyes shine with joy and contentment. When afraid of the unknown, they reflect the horror in his heart. When confused, surprise and confusion widen his eyes! It is in these wide-eyed moments that I find much amusement and happiness. The queries are sometimes intelligent and a lot of times very simple and amusing. He bats his eyes in wonder when I answer a query. His mind races to form images with my words. A lot of times he already has another question lined even before I have finished answering the previous one:) Very often, sleep finds its way in those large eyes just as I launch into any details that would assist my answer:) His right eye becomes smaller than the left one at such times. I see the intelligent look in those eyes fade into sleepiness. I kiss his eyes shut and voila! Yahya is suddenly in deep slumber as his long lashes take one last sweep and heavy eye lids fall shut... Dreams replace visuals in his closed eyes and he becomes part of the nocturnal world.

I love the windows to my son's soul alhamdolillah!

Expectations

2010-05-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

"Allah certainly dislikes three things for you: vain talk (and carrying tales), wasting of wealth, and (unnecessary) excessive questioning."(Bukhari)

Alhamdolillah I have rediscovered deen and try implementing it in all areas of life. I am quite sincere in carrying the hijab and consider the veil very seriously as well! But does that really mean that I have to meet the expectations of the people around me and worry about following the latest fashions be it wearing fitted garments or low neck-lines and abandon those of our deen?!!!

My hubby practically spent his entire boyhood in the mosque alhamdolillah. He attended different "ijtimaa" or congregations meant for the dhikr of Allah all his life alhamdolillah. He recited istighfaar each time he laid eyes on a female out of fear that Shaytaan might lead him to sinning! Yet, when he finally grew a beard after hajj, he felt he wasted so many years doing nothing! Now he had finally done something to please Allah swt! Yet I saw people transforming into question marks expecting answers from both of us!

I have three elder sisters alhamdolillah. The one immediately before me began wearing the head scarf much earlier than the rest of us. MashaAllah it was a bold step and required courage. Then came the zillion questions that she never had to answer when she was not wearing the head scarf and people were actually fine with whatever she wore, whether it was jeans and t-shirt or a sleeveless outfit! Poor her! Aaaargh!

I was fortunate to make my umra twice alhamdolillah! Before I had travelled to Saudi Arabia for the purpose I had heard many tales about the rudeness and vanity of the Arabs. My experience taught me otherwise! I felt welcome, comfortable and inspired! The people of Arabia cannot be cursed I figured, our Holy prophet(s) belonged to this nation! And if they made mistakes... hey, theyre human! Allah swt pardons us if we ask forgiveness then who are we to raise fingers at a nation and defame them! They are the most hospitable of all nations, catering to the needs of millions of hajis around the year. There is no off season for this blessed site! People on official trips to Riyadh and Dammam and Jeddah also make it a point to take a slight detour and perform their umra! Ramadaan sees an inflow of millions, followed by hajj when millions of hajji dont only perform their rites within the premises of the kaaba but move out to Mina, Muzdalifah and Arafaat for the performance of the Hajj rites! And who is it that makes sure that there is ample water supply in the desert for wudu n ghusl of each and every pilgrim? Who is it that cleans up after the millions of travellers? Who is it that erects tents annually in Mina and removes them them after the pilgrims have departed? It is the nation that Allah swt has appointed for the hospitality of the pilgrims... The Saudis!

The zeal with which these people serve pilgrims day-in and day-out is remarkable! They ae so kind to each individual and make every effort to keep the pilgrims facilitated. SubhanAllah! Are they not the chosen ones??!!!

The patience and hospitality of this beautiful nation reflected the teachings of the Holy Prophet (s) who did not waver, let alone, curse anyone for being rough and ignorant towards his teachings! SubhanAllah!

The challenges that this nation has to face in spite of all its goodness is a lesson for all us who encounter raised fingers and mindless queries in the way of Allah swt. There still remains so much for us to do in order to earn Allah's pleasure, that mindless banter should not discourage us.
In the Holy Prophet(s) we have an excellent example of putting up with social challenges. His announcement of prophethood as well as the declaration of the Oneness of Allah had an entire society against him. Neither did he fight needlessly nor did he think wrongly of the people. His silence and steadfastness set an example for the kuffar and muslims alike. And now I understand that he sought the help of Allah swt alone which is why he never failed or fell weak!

I sincerely ask Allah to give hidaya to these people who may feel that they are concerned about our well-being and social status by actually creating false standards in society expecting us to meet them instead of allowing us to follow the path laid by Allah swt.

Gentleness and deen...

2010-05-08T03:04:00.000-07:00

There is a very famous story of Hazrat Suleman (A) and the Ants. Prophet Sulemaan (A) is known to have been able to speak to animals and the jinn. In this particular story, Prophet Sulemaan (A) is said to have been riding with his men in the desert when an army of ants sees them. The chief of the ants warns the others to get away from the way of the riders as they would mercilessly crush them otherwise! The prophet smiled gently and ordered his men to swerve away from the path of the tiny ants and eased away the worries of the ants.

Just as much as this story is about the miracles of the great Prophet of Allah swt and the powers that Allah swt had gifted his prophets with, this story is also a reminder of the gentleness and affection that the great prophets felt for the Creation of Allah swt.

We have numerous examples of tenderness and love in the life and teachings of our Last Prophet(S). Kindness towards plants, animals and humans alike; towards children, the elderly and the poor; towards our friends and enemies( when they are helpless and in our domain ).

Tenderness helps build relationships. It leads to the strengthening of bonds. Tenderness compels us to realize the plight of others. It becomes the solutions to so many problems. We manage to remain silent when agitated by old parents, or bothered by our innocent wide-eyed off-springs. It helps us donate to charities and show compassion for those in crisis!

But what is it that leads to our hearts becoming gentle and soft?!! The Holy Quran and the love of Allah swt. The belief in His supreme being releases us from the stronghold of pride. It fills us with humility. As for the Holy Quran, simply the recitation of this great book softens our hearts. It softened the hearts of the greatest of evil men! The words of this grand book brought the hardest of men towards deen. SubhanAllah!

My teachers in kindness and gentleness were my mom and now my dear hubby! Mom was the kindest and gentlest women I knew of. And my dear husband is the best and gentlest of men ive ever known or will ever know. Alhamdolillah! Ive seen deen do the magic of tenderness in the very words of these two favorite people of mine!

May the love of Allah swt and the magic of the Holy Quran soften our hearts and inspire us towards gentleness and love for Creation! Ameen.

La ila ha illallahu Muhammad ur Rasool Allah

2010-05-05T23:23:00.000-07:00

WE DISCUSS THE DO'S AND DONT'S OF DEEN ALL THE TIME. WHAT WE MISS IS THE FACT, THE VERY FOUNDATION OF DEEN.... AND THAT IS "LA ILA HA ILLALLAHU MUHAMMAD UR RASOOL ALLAH"... MY HUBBY IS MY FAVORITE SCHOLAR ON DEEN ALHAMDOLILLAH:) AND HE HAS TAUGHT ME TO LEAD MY LIFE BASED ON THE PRINCIPLE OF "ASH-HADU ALLAH ILAHA ILLALLAHU WA ASH HADU ANNA MUHAMMADAN ABDUHU WA RASOOL-LU"... SUBHANALLAH!

1-"Don't you know that protection, tomorrow, will be limited to those who feared Allaah [today], and to those who sold something ephemeral for something permanent, something small for something great, and fear for protection?"

2-ALLAH, the Exalted,says: "And they were commanded not,
but that they should worship ALLAH, and worship none but Him Alone
(abstaining from ascribing partners to Him), and perform As-Salat
(Iqamat-as-Salat) and give Zakat, and that is the right religion.''
(98:5)

3-Indeed they do blasphemy those who say that Allah is Jesus, the son of
Mary, but Jesus said "O children of Israel! Worship Allah, my Lord and
your Lord". Whoever joins other gods with Allah, Allah will forbid him
heaven and the fire will be his abode. (Al Maidah)

This is my Hijab

2010-05-03T00:20:00.000-07:00

I recently messaged a link to my friends on my network, that was about the seven essentials of a muslim woman's attire. A friend sent me a horrified reply asking me whether I was applying any of the seven rules or not! As usual, I had so much to say that I decided to write about it here:)

I started carrying the hijab 6 years back, not that I had reverted to islam then but that my reawakening process had been suddenly triggered. I owe it to my visit to Dubai. My hair was simply gorgeous at that time. My firstborn was just a year old and I was back in shape. My skin was glowing and I was feeling really good about myself. And then Dubai had me in real high spirits. I let my dyed-brown hair down till my waist and wore colorful kurtis that flaunted my fitness. My perfume filled the elevator and my wide toothy smile captured Arabs and "foreigners" alike!

In a similar setting we once boarded the hotel elevator to be carried downstairs and catch a cab for the distant malls and hotels of Dubai. I smiled pleasantly at everyone in the elevator and stood by my bearded husband's side. As the elevator made its way down, I began feeling the eyes, ears and nose that could make out each strand of my hair, knew what my skin smelled of and knew where exactly my curves were! Astaghfirullah!!! I was so ashamed in my heart to be standing next to my extremely pious and righteous hubby, a man who guarded his deen with his beard! He was undoubtedly a muslim for nobody once questioned him about his identity, where as I had been asked on many occasions whether I was hindu! I created confusions! If I was a muslim then why the lustrous locks swinging on my back attracting male and female attention alike! If I was a muslim then why the fancy garments, that were not revealing at all but clung to my body!

Oh god the debate that I had with my conscience was historic! The next few days were full of contemplation and research on Islam's criteria for modesty. We returned home and went about our daily mundane routines. My mind remained occupied with thoughts about whether I should do something about the hijab issue or not! And then, another defining moment took place, my husband's brother met a painless end after years of ailment! I was brought to face my fears as I witnessed this death and was reminded of my mom's departure to the next world! These realities hit me smack in the face. They shook me up... and I donned my hijab!

Ever since then it has been an uphill climb towards earning the pleasure of the Almighty Allah by abiding with the rules of modesty laid down for us in the Holy Quraan and the Sunnah. Ive been met with social challenges and highly stupid queries, but alhamdolillah I was helped by Allah swt in pursuing this path! So much so, that I began wearing the jilbaab last year alhamdolillah! I just hope I can go further ahead on this path and set an example for my muslim sisters by implementing all the rules of modesty!
I have to credit my hubby, Little Friend for his excellent influence on my personality! His steadfastness, kindness and faith have helped me mould myself and understand deen better! May Allah swt reward him for being a good muslim hence an excellent example! Ameen

May Allah swt guide us all and help us follow the beautiful guidelines laid down for us meant for a healthy and complete lifestyle! Ameen

أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمدا رسول الله

2010-04-29T00:27:00.000-07:00

Alhamdolillah I'm back with wonderful and very essential reminders:

1-"Abu Huraira (RA) reported Alalh's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Charity does not in any way decrease the wealth and the servant who forgives Allah adds to his respect, and the one who shows humility Allah elevates him in the estimation (of the people)." (Sahih Muslim, Vol 4, 6264)

2-And if Allâh touches you with harm, none can remove it but He, and if He touches you with good, then He is Able to do all things Al-Anaam [6:17]

3-Recite Al-Qur'aan before Allah takes your sight away, speak a good word before Allah takes your tongue away, listen to beneficial things before Allah takes your hearing away, give charity before Allah takes your hands away, walk towards good before Allah takes your limbs away, remember Allah, before Shaytaan steals your heart way.

May Allah swt forgive me if I make any mistakes with what I write, Ameen.

Thanaya

Our love goes beyond "PARATHAS":)

2010-04-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage."

Hazrat Ali (r)exhorts, "Marry, because marriage is the tradition of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.)." Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition."

Alhamdolillah I have been married for a good seven years now. At the time that I got married I believed my hubby(little friend will be his blog name for that is the literal translation of his name!) and I were "head over heels in love"! I made an effort to please him with my cooking and cleaning skills. Poor as they were I worked on improving them; rising early to manage making the perfect "roti" for him and frying his egg with the bottom crispy , yolk tender yet intact. Once he would leave for work I went about hand-washing his clothes, polishing the floor till it shone and scrubbing the bathroom tiles... all in the an effort to "prove" my love to my wonderful husband.

Little friend was also reciprocating my feelings by making tedious efforts to prove his love for me. He stacked crates of coke and cartons of milk in our bedroom (as I preferred these two drinks over all others) and showed generosity to the extent of extravagance. He chose his words carefully, and always worried about hurting me unintentionally. Although he did manage a few blunders like how all simple men do when they are not aware of the timing being bad or the words being inappropriate:)

Just seven years down the lane and Little Friend and I have already reached a much higher level of love. We respect each other tremendously alhamdolillah and have faith in each other's feelings. I no longer struggle with my "roti" and "paratha" skills in an effort to win my husband's admiration. In fact some mornings when I'm tired or unwell, I know that he will make arrangements for his breakfast on his own and that will not effect the love we feel for each other or the amazing relation ship we have. The word "love" has finally found meaning in our lives. We were quite certain that what we felt in the first days of marriage was love. But we were wrong! We are now able to recognize unspoken needs, relate to hidden sentiments and read each other's minds . That is love. We have accepted each other for who we are. That is love. We do not have to go about our daily routines with the motive of proving ourselves to one another. That is love!

I cannot thank Allah swt enough for this wonderful gift of love! I pray that each one of us gets to live this feeling and express it to the maximum; to cherish it and to spread it; to live with it and die with it. All praise is for Allah Almighty who has made the bond between a man and woman so holy, pure and beautiful! I epecially thank Allah swt for taking my love beyond "parathas" so early in my married life:)

Go Green!

2010-04-22T05:49:00.000-07:00

It is He Who has spread out the earth for (His) creatures:
055.011 Therein is fruit and date-palms, producing spathes (enclosing dates);
055.012 Also corn, with (its) leaves and stalk for fodder, and sweet-smelling plants.
055.013 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
055.014 He created man from sounding clay like unto pottery...(surah-i-rahman)

We celebrated earth day. It was an activity in school. A celebration on television. A promotional activity for many brands... I admired the three plants that I own. Every morning I rise for fajr; draw open the curtains of my sitting area to allow sunlight to enter and fall on my still developing plants; and water the dry, thirsty soil of each plant. I dont even know their names. They are simply my plants. I purchased them while they were little buds sprouting from a handful of soil stuffed in tiny bags. Four months later they are small plants. All by the grace of Allah swt. The one and only who can give life to human babies, animals, earth worms, butter flies, lady bugs and all that survives and thrives on this planet and beyond!

Yet, we celebrate the "earth" day in an effort to "preserve" our planet!

Is that really our job? Can we really protect our world from the calamities that we, ourselves, have invited upon it? Are these calamities the result of pollution and de-forestation only? Can we help reconstruct the Ozone? Or is it possible for us to bring back the exticnt creatures?

The answer to all these questions is a firm "no". Yes, we can quit making the same mistakes over and over again. But will that save the planet? Ofcourse not! Allah swt is the sole savior of mankind and all of Creation. It is Him who controls our lives and the lives of each plant and animal.

I fall in love with His Creation with renewed joy and admiration every morning! I sing nasheeds joyously when I witness a new leaf unfurl! The purples, greens and oranges of these plants have filled my life with color! They are the only precious pieces of decoration that adorn my sitting area. Gone are the days when I had nightmares of dead, droopy, wilting plants when I initially had trouble figuring out the needs of my tiny plants. They seemed unhappy, and gave a sad-face effect with their droopy leaves. There was something wrong. I had bought them so healthy and young, what could possibly have gone wrong??!!! I re-checked my watering habits and changed their location. I did everything I could to help them grow but to no avail. Finally one morning, really quite suddenly, my plants seemed to blossom. The droopy ends of the tiny leaves seemed to perk up suddenly. The color appeared in their brown tips. It waa a transformation. Allah swt had saved my dear plants! Alhamdolillah. The fresh leaves and their colors breathed new life in us.

SubhanAllah. All praise is for Allah swt who has filled our lives with color. We can protect our environment by following the sunnah and the Quraanic teachings. Excessive use of water or any other amenity is advised against in our deen. Similarly, polluting the land is prohibited in islam. As for calamities, we also need to mend our ways to protect the earth from unwelcome environmental developments! Our actions and deeds have a huge contribution in these happenings. Science just provides an explanation for everything in our deen. It cannot provide solutions or cures to these problems. A simple study of deen will solve all our problems and help us recognize the might and power of Allah swt.

May Allah swt keep our world green and beautiful always, Ameen

SubhanAllah

2010-04-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

Reminders for the day:
1-Abdullah Ibn Mas'ood reported that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said, "Indeed Islam began new and strange and it shall return as it began - new and strange. So glad tidings to the strangers." [Muslim]

2-Too many study their neighbor's faults more closely than their Qur'an.

3-Prophet (SAW) said, "Whenever anyone of you invoke Allah for something, he should be firm in his asking, and he should not say: 'If You wish, give me...' for none can compel Allah to do something against His Will." (Bukhari)

Golden Reminders

2010-04-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

1-Prophet (SAW) said,Whoever fulfils the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfil his needs; whoever removes the troubles of his brother, Allah will remove one of his troubles on the Day of Resurrection; and whoever covers up the fault of a Muslim, Allah will cover up his fault on the Day of Resurrection.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

2-"Beware of disobeying Allah when alone, for the witness is the Judge." Ali (ra)

3-‘Aisha (radi Allahu anha) says, “Do not ever stop standing in prayer at night. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) never ceased praying it. When he (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) was sick or weak, he prayed sitting.” [Al-bukhari, Al-muslim]

subhanAllah!

Allah u Akber!!!

2010-04-19T03:16:00.000-07:00

Today's reminders have me completely over whelmed! JazakAllah to the group admins for managing their groups with loyalty, complete earnesty and hard work:

1-Prophet (SAW) said, “The Fire complained to its Lord saying, O Lord! I am eating up myself (burning), so Allah allowed it to release two breaths, one during the winter and one during the summer; the coldest days you experience result from the breath of Zamhareer (cold punishment in Hell), and the hottest days you experience result from the breath of Fire” (Bukhaari);

2-The Prophet (SAW) “The least among the people of Hell in punishment is one whose sandals and laces are of fire from which his brain boils as a pot of water would boil (when set on fire), he will not think that there is anyone being punished more than him, but in reality, he is the least in punishment” (Bukhaari & Muslim)

3-"Indeed, Allah will aid those who aid His cause. Indeed Allah is all-Powerful, all-Mighty." [22:40]

how i learned to love the sun!

2010-04-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Assalamoalikum!
Since I have been born and brought up in a country where the sun is always shining bright, I never could fall in love with it! Inspite of all its glory and might, the shining star did not do enough to please me. It was always a much detested and much discussed focus of all conversations round the year. There were days when we wondered how it could possibly shine so painfully bright on winter mornings also! Then there was the very crazy discussion on how irritating and ruthless the star could be in summers( as if it could reduce it's energy in the HOT months of the year!)

Exams always managed to take place in hot, sweaty days. Whatever occassion or family event that, we as kids, were least interested in attending also happened when temperatures were rising high and activities like visiting the bazaars and dressing up were a loathsome duty! Oh how we disliked the heat and light of the Sun!

But what I failed to realize in the daze of youth, was the charm that this mighty star held! It took me a lifetime to see the sun in a different "light":)

Alhamdolillah in late March last year I went for my second umra with my husband and children. Once again we were wowed by everything. The people, the rites, the Harmain, zamzam, the ihraam ... everything was a matter of fascination and love. Devotion and sincerety take form for everybody during the journey to the Harmain. We feel close to Allah swt and here is where perceptions change!

It was always convenient for me to perform my nafl tawaaf and prayers after zuhr prayers. My dear husband stayed with the kids while I went about my prayers worry-free. On one such day, when Iwas in the Haram alone and I was done performing my voluntary prayers under the bright desert sun, I joined the many people rythmically moving around the kaaba and fell into the rythm. The sun continued to perform its duty with all might and dedication. My eyes closed, I went with the flow and recited my prayers under my beath. My back and head were wet with perspiration; as was everybody else's. But nobody was bothered about the heat and continued with their tawaaf. Since my children were safely enjoying an afternoon siesta, my mind was unoccupied. My thoughts only focused on my duaas. I gradually became unaware of all the activity around me. The freshly arrived groups of men and women in white performing their umra; the elderly managing their rites with bravery and strength; the young getting involved in the rites with vigour and excitement... I continued with my tawaaf, falling in love with the Almighty with each round; feeling my duaas being heard with every utterance; shedding tears with every movement i made. And then the defining moment took place! I passed under the shadow of the Holy Kaaba! It must have been my fourth round. And not my first tawaaf during the trip! But that epiphanous moment changed everything forever! I was sheltered by the Holy House of Allah from the burning heat of the Sun! It was unbelievable to have suddenly realized that Almighty Allah had been kind enough to have sheltered me in the shade of the Kaaba. I cried now, as if dams had been released. I sobbed uncontrollably! I moved out of the shade towards the sun-lit area to continue towards my next round. Oh how I loved the sun at that point, for had it not been for its heat I would not have experienced the shadow of the Kaaba on myself. SubhanAllah. I wondered how I had been so fortunate to have found shelter under the Kaaba from the glaring sun! It was probably not my luck, it was just an act of great mercy from Allah swt.
Today when I rise on a hot morning to refresh myself for fajr, I am touched by the beauty of the rays of sun filtering through my kitchen window, the curtains in my lounge and the tiny spaces in my wooden front door. I glorify Allah almighty for providing us with the magic of light, heat and their benefits. I open my doors and windows to welcome sun-light in every corner of my house, feeling bad for the corners where it does not reach; smiling at the plants that waited all night for the rise of dawn to fill themselves with color; hearing the happy sounds of birds who have quickly fallen into their daily routine!
Surely, there are signs for us in all of Allah's Creation!

alhamdolillah!

2010-04-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

Assalamoalaikum,
it is an irony that we thank Allah swt for His bounties, graciousness and mercies when we recall the problems we had once suffered! I was reflecting in a similar manner this morning in order to thank the Almighty for the blessings I have right now in life. Life was not easy. But Allah swt was very merciful and guided me and my family through the thorny path without receiving a single scratch. My heart weeps when I think of the sufferings of the past. I dislike people for an instant. I hate the world for its ways. But then i begin seeing the graciousness of Allah swt that he showered upon us even while we thought we were living the bleakest moments of our lives! Allah swt was helping us by showing us the ways of the world. he was guiding us through a very difficult path so that we would call upon him mor often. Allah swt was showing us His "qudrat" , His might by leading us towards the solutions of our problems. He brought happiness and joy to our weeping souls. He swt replaced agony with relief for us. His merciful Being granted us with all that we had lacked all our lives! From physical comfort to material to, most importantly, love happiness and respect!
There is nothing I can do to thank my Lord enough! My heart and soul prostrate in gratitude for the Almighty. My eyes well with tears when I realize the Almighty's love for Creation. How He watches over each one of us individually! It is not just obligatory for us to thank Allah swt as a custom or religious ritual. That gratitude should fill our hearts. It should over whelm our senses. still it will never be enough! SubhanAllah! Alhamdolillah!

2010-04-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

Assalamoalaikum!
here is another list of valuable reminders that I picked up from different islamic groups and that made my day Alhamdolilh.
1-“ …If you are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you…” (Ibrâhîm 14:7)
2-Rasulullah (S.A.W) said, “He who does not thank people does not thank Allah.” (Al-Tirmidhi)
3-“Worship Allah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masaakeen (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allah does not like such as are proud and boastful” [Quran al-Nisa’ 4:36]

JazakAllah khairum, InshAllah we will all benefit from these valuable islamic reminders!

Reminders for Today

2010-04-13T04:08:00.000-07:00

I picked all these reminders from wonderful islamic groups that i have joined online. I am sure they will be helpful and enlightening for everybody InshAllah!

1-Abu Hurayrah reported Allaah’s Messenger (S.A.W) as saying: There is none whose deeds alone would entitle him to get into Paradise. It was said to him: And, Allah’s Messenger, not even you? Thereupon he said: Not even I, but that my Lord wraps me in Mercy. [Muslim, Book 39, 15, #6761]

2-“Nay! (Man denies Resurrection and Reckoning. So) he desires to continue committing sins. He asks: “When will be this Day of Resurrection?”....(Quran Al-Qiyaamah 75:5)

3-"Do not walk upon the earth except in humbleness, For how many people underneath it are more exalted than you! If you are in glory, goodness and strength, Then how many have died that were more stronger than you." [Al-Kirizi]

4-If it's truly for the sake of Allah, do not get hurt and do not become angry. Keep your cool when you run across problems in the 'Dawah Scene' or when giving sincere advice. It's not about you after all, it's about the pleasure of Allah. :-)

Women are from hell,Men are from heaven...

2010-04-13T00:52:00.000-07:00

assalam u alaikum!

the other day i read an article posted by a wonderful islamic group on facebook, that had an explanation to the hadeeth shareef of our Beloved Prophet(s), indicating that there will be more women in hell than in heaven! Just as alarming as this might be, i believe that it was indeed very merciful of Allah swt to have warned us through the Last Prophet(s) about the kind of trouble we could get ourselves into!As the prophet(s) himself said in his last address that our deen had been completed for us; and I believe that certainly in the life of the Holy Prophet(s) and his teachings Allah swt really did cover all aspects of life, human conduct, psychology and development for our guidance.
Returning to the hadeeth-i-mubarakah, when we go in it's details, the prophet(s) explained the women present in His(s) day that women tend to compare their husbands to other men and no matter how kind and loving their partners are they do not feel completely satisfied by them. Which is why they should make more sadaqaat and save themselves from the fires of hell! when the women heard our Holy Prophet(s) say this, they began throwing their jewels out of fear in the cloth that Hazrat Bilal(R) held for the collection of sadaqaat.
SubhanAllah!
The question that rises here is whether we are well-informed about these matters or not! And if we are, do we work towards rectifying our behaviors and thought processes or not! I certainly have no right to comment on the issue, as I myself am too inexperienced in this context. But as deeni sisters we could help and guide each other on the matter. A lot of times we have friends telling us how grumpy their husbands can be or how "demanding" their husbands are... I seriously want to know what the term "demanding" really inplies?!!! If their spouse is loyal to them and not seeing any other woman, and if he is caring about the needs of his family, then why is it that women "demand" for him to be soft-spoken, social, funny and compromising as well! Maybe I am unable to relate to their problem, but if the guy wants to live with his parents, or avoid late-nights-out or tends to go quiet after a hard day at work, then its not men who are asking for too much its us women who are asking for too much!!! If we consider the hadeeth shareef that i have referred to here, then we are earning hell for ourselves! These minor complains will close the doors of heaven on us! We will be shunned! Is it not a great mercy on us from our Almighty Lord that He has provided us guidance?!! And is it not highly ignorant of us to not pay any heed to that guidance and continue whimpering over absolutely nothing! Alhamdolillah majority households nowadays are much more liberal, tolerant and so-not-demanding as compared to those of the previous generations! Yet we manage to find faults and mope over them, succeeding in pleasing Shaytaan and failing in earning the pleasure of Allah swt!
It is time that we educate our sisters, daughters, nieces, friends, relatives and all other females who we interact with to become more tolerant and thankful to Allah swt for His blessings. Instead of searching for faults, we should reconsider the blessings we daily thank Allah for. InshAllah daily all my sisters and I will find a hundred more reasons to thank Allah swt for!
May Allah swt open doors of His guidance on us; may we earn the pleasure of Allah swt and turn to His merciful Being only when we need help. Ameen

ASSALAMOALAIKUM!

2010-04-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

After having followed quite a few blogs, for quite sometime, I have finally decided to launch my own blogspot. I really dont know how it will be received. Neither do I have a dedicated readership that I am aiming at pleasing. My purpose in beginning a blogspot is simply to use this space as an outlet for my feelings and my so-called knack for writing.

I have not come across a single woman in so long who does not have the need to speak her mind. And I, like the entire female specie have a lot to share with the world. My insights as a mom, a wife, a siter and a daughter; my intellect(it may be borrowed a lot of times in the form of islamic matter that i will have to take from reliable sources); and my personal experiences.
When i speak of experiences they will not always be mine either. Being the youngest among my siblings and then in my husband's family, I have managed to learn a lot from the expriences of the people around me! I, too, have a learnt a harsh lesson or two at the hands of the cruel selfish world. But that remains my asset. Allah swt has been very kind and merciful. These harsh experiences have made a better person of me, given me more perspective and finally helped me realize the many blessings that Allah swt has graciously granted me with all my life!
I am really excited at finally being part of the blogosphere, hence Im sure I will be found posting daily. But I hope I remain just as excited in future and frequently update my space.

May Allah swt guide and protect us all. Ameen,
Thanaya