I am very emotional today... unable to speak really! I cannot believe that inshAllah tomorrow I wil leave for Hajj... I remember all those times that Mom watched the Hajj transmission live on national tv... The sounds of Labbaik echoed throughtout our home... Maybe its walls still resonate these sacred words! Mom performed Hajj twice in her lifetime mashAllah! When she was very young... Very innocent... Spiritually mature!
She recognized the depth and essence of the pilgrimage and all it's rites... She found herself performing those rites in her daily life as well!
Today, when I am leaving for Hajj, I wonder what is going through my children's minds... I do not have to wonder much however, they are mashAllah vocal with their thoughts and feelings! They know they will miss me... They worry about their breakfast, lunch and dinner:)
What they remain unaware of is that one day we all have to live without our loved ones! They depart without prior warning! They don't leave meal plans behind! I just hope that when I do leave, my children know that all my life I was preparing for that one Final Departure; that they know that Mom had spent her time in preparation for this journey... Just as we think when we miss our Mom!
No matter how much we write or read or speak, we can never completely explain the emotions we feel at such a point! I want to stay quiet! Not say anything at all! Suddenly, there seem to be such few words for everything!
I am in a state of disbelief, excitement, nervousness and anxiety! What is it that I feel the most??!!! I just cannot say!
Alhumdulillah my sisters have performed Hajj! Only my brother and I remain! I hope he is next inshAllah!
I pray that my father gets to see the Harmain Shareefain once more in his lifetime inshALlah! I pray that the entire Muslim ummah gets the opputunity to perform their Hajj and Umra IA! And to beg forgiveness from the Almighty!
I still don't know what I really want to write... I have just been crying at intervals since last night!
My husband will be performing this hajj InshAllah on behalf of his late brother! I am so emotional about that! When he last wwent for hajj his ailing brotehr was bed ridden and asked my husband to make special dua'a for his hajj! The day has come... inshAllah my dear Little Friend will live that dream for his beautiful brother who showed much sabr during his fatal illness!
ya Allah please accept my hajj and of my fellow hajjis as well, Ameen!
ya Allah please make this pilgrimage smooth and easy for all of us, Ameen!
ya Allah please make this hajj mabroor and mabrook and maqbool for us, Ameen!
ya Allah please help us return safely to our homes, and children , Ameen!
ya Allah please help us retain and spread the lessons of hajj among our friends and family, Ameen!
ya Allah please help us retain the "anwaaraat" of this Blessed journey, Ameen!
ya Rabb, please make us your obedient servants and give special rewards to our parents, our ancestors and all the other muslims who ever lived in this world, from our hajj, Ameen, ya Rabbulaalimeen!