Spring-Cleaning and Abandoning the Material World...
Yahya was asked to bring two old and used greeting cards for some art project in school...
I was very pleased to read the note as it reminded me not only that I have bundles and bundles of old greeting cards, but also that I had very recently started getting rid of old sentimental stuff... the stuff included my engagement flowers :) , my wedding flowers :) , a glass decoration, now stored in a cardboard box in the form of broken shards, that Little Friend got me before we were married, and a box full of chocolate wrappers that I treasured because I had received the chocolates from Little Friend right after we were engaged!!! Imagine how dear all this filth was to me that I felt people were very unfair when they suggested I should part with it!
So last week I labelled it as part "spring cleaning" and part "abandoning worldly possessions spree" when I actually discarded all these useless items( i still have a carton ful of them at the back of the cupboard... im scared even to open it, the things might have transformed into monsters by now!!!)
Anyhow, coming back to Yahya's school project, I picked out the first bag that was within reach to dig through it's items and discard useless ones as well as pick out two completely useless ones for Yahya's school project...
As I opened the bag I discovered that it was the one that carried all the lovely greetings that my late mom had received in her life!!! Card after card unravelled a story, a thought, a prayer! The birthday cards were dated from October 1st, 1993 to October 1st, 2002... There were the Get Well cards that reminded me of the terible times when mom fell ill and gave us a bad scare with the prospect that things like death and illness can inflict her!!! There were cards from our favorite Aunt with poems that read "My Sister In Law who is my friend"; " Miss You Terribly"; and "Get Well Soon"... Then there were Mother's Day cards we had given her... Some saying "Thank You Mother", others suggesting what a strong and lovely mother she was and then those that just had a poem on the cover with a blank page inside where we wrote all that we could to tell her "we loved her", "needed her", and "she was the only best thing in our lives" :( ... The words seemed so strangely ironic and painful today!!!
There were cards from her nephews and nieces full of love and concern for her... telling her she was just not "allowed" to fall ill and upset us...
All cards somehow held the same duaa for her time and again to stick around for a long, long time and watch her grand kids grow old, getting married and bearing great grand children for her... Or the ernest duaa in all the cards from my sibs and me to stay by our side and to keep smiling and laughing and cuddling us for ever and ever!!!!
Just as much as these cards have strengthened me in holding on to the past, they have also given me the courage to abandon worldliness... It was sad how every wish and every prayer insisted that we wanted this amazing mother, and aunt, and sister in law, and teacher with us forever!
Oh how it hurt when all those times came rushing back to me! My heart ached with the love each card held for Mom... The different writing styles, the lovely poems on each card, the pretty colors to match the pretty person that Mom was, the note of secrecy, closeness and fondness in the words written "for Mom only"...
It has already been almost eight whole years since we lost Mom! She would have turned 64 years old this October... But it is lovely to think of her as an eight year old in Jannah! The greeting cards held an entire legacy of love, relationships and pain... An entire lesson on life... Compiled for a woman who was full of life and has managed to "live" on very strongly in our memories in the busy lives of today...
So much for spring cleaning and abandoning the world! I have stuffed the package back where I had removed it from, with the intention of looking into it and all other sentimental stuff after sometime when hopefully I will be feeling more courageous and ready to part with it all inshAllah! It has to be soon though, for that is what will truly prepare me spiritually for an eternal journey inshAllah!
I was very pleased to read the note as it reminded me not only that I have bundles and bundles of old greeting cards, but also that I had very recently started getting rid of old sentimental stuff... the stuff included my engagement flowers :) , my wedding flowers :) , a glass decoration, now stored in a cardboard box in the form of broken shards, that Little Friend got me before we were married, and a box full of chocolate wrappers that I treasured because I had received the chocolates from Little Friend right after we were engaged!!! Imagine how dear all this filth was to me that I felt people were very unfair when they suggested I should part with it!
So last week I labelled it as part "spring cleaning" and part "abandoning worldly possessions spree" when I actually discarded all these useless items( i still have a carton ful of them at the back of the cupboard... im scared even to open it, the things might have transformed into monsters by now!!!)
Anyhow, coming back to Yahya's school project, I picked out the first bag that was within reach to dig through it's items and discard useless ones as well as pick out two completely useless ones for Yahya's school project...
As I opened the bag I discovered that it was the one that carried all the lovely greetings that my late mom had received in her life!!! Card after card unravelled a story, a thought, a prayer! The birthday cards were dated from October 1st, 1993 to October 1st, 2002... There were the Get Well cards that reminded me of the terible times when mom fell ill and gave us a bad scare with the prospect that things like death and illness can inflict her!!! There were cards from our favorite Aunt with poems that read "My Sister In Law who is my friend"; " Miss You Terribly"; and "Get Well Soon"... Then there were Mother's Day cards we had given her... Some saying "Thank You Mother", others suggesting what a strong and lovely mother she was and then those that just had a poem on the cover with a blank page inside where we wrote all that we could to tell her "we loved her", "needed her", and "she was the only best thing in our lives" :( ... The words seemed so strangely ironic and painful today!!!
There were cards from her nephews and nieces full of love and concern for her... telling her she was just not "allowed" to fall ill and upset us...
All cards somehow held the same duaa for her time and again to stick around for a long, long time and watch her grand kids grow old, getting married and bearing great grand children for her... Or the ernest duaa in all the cards from my sibs and me to stay by our side and to keep smiling and laughing and cuddling us for ever and ever!!!!
Just as much as these cards have strengthened me in holding on to the past, they have also given me the courage to abandon worldliness... It was sad how every wish and every prayer insisted that we wanted this amazing mother, and aunt, and sister in law, and teacher with us forever!
Oh how it hurt when all those times came rushing back to me! My heart ached with the love each card held for Mom... The different writing styles, the lovely poems on each card, the pretty colors to match the pretty person that Mom was, the note of secrecy, closeness and fondness in the words written "for Mom only"...
It has already been almost eight whole years since we lost Mom! She would have turned 64 years old this October... But it is lovely to think of her as an eight year old in Jannah! The greeting cards held an entire legacy of love, relationships and pain... An entire lesson on life... Compiled for a woman who was full of life and has managed to "live" on very strongly in our memories in the busy lives of today...
So much for spring cleaning and abandoning the world! I have stuffed the package back where I had removed it from, with the intention of looking into it and all other sentimental stuff after sometime when hopefully I will be feeling more courageous and ready to part with it all inshAllah! It has to be soon though, for that is what will truly prepare me spiritually for an eternal journey inshAllah!
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